


I Would Have x Cherished x Every Single Second

by LK713



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Neferpitou-centric, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Post-Canon, Redemption, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 38,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29795877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LK713/pseuds/LK713
Summary: Neferpitou was the first of the Chimera Ant King’s Royal Guards.  They used to think only of survival, and their assigned role in life.  They never thought much of what it meant tolive.They never thought much of how little touches on the surface of the water could create lasting ripples, and how much could change from so little.But they now found themselves isolated, a subject without a King, with a young frail girl as their only companion - and their new charge in life, their new goal to ascribe a duty to protect onto.“You will always be more than just a memory.  Now I take this road alone; I know you're watching over me…”
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Komugi & Neferpitou (Hunter X Hunter), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue - To Keep x A x Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The little things can change a life so much, Neferpitou realizes, as they reflect on a life long past.
> 
> _I can't believe that the day has come.  
>  Knowing now, I will never see your face again; if I'd known so many years ago, I would have cherished every single second.  
> But now I have to face the facts: that you're not coming back.  
> And no matter how much this hurts… I will keep pushing forward._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will technically be manga spoilers in this story, but none of them will be very relevant to the plot. If you only watched the show, you'll be fine I think.
> 
> There is discussion of suicide and suicidal/depressive thoughts in this story, but no actual depiction of suicide.

Once upon a time, Neferpitou never considered what it meant to live.

They were concerned with simple, baseline things: survival of the fittest, protecting the King, and making sure that the kingdom grew to be strong and prosperous. They were concerned with the objective, biological, absolute facts that had been coded into their physical reality from conception. 

Protecting the things that made the King happy was something new. Something different. Something exciting. The idea that the King was happy, itself, was an alien one. The King of the Chimera Ants lived to eat, to consume, to build something glorious and strong on top of something dead and ashy, unfit to live. The King of the Chimera Ants finding kinship, hope, and love with a member of an inferior species - not inferior in a moral sense, but in the objective, stone cold biological sense of the food chain - was incomprehensible. 

Shaiapouf never appreciated this. He tried to sabotage the King’s happiness. It was then that Neferpitou began to realize that the food chain is not a linear concept. That those at the top are not objectively above those at the bottom. That they, as a Royal Guard, might have more to live for other than to protect the King as he consumed and reproduced.

Once upon a time, Neferpitou, the first and most powerful of King Meruem’s Royal Guards, only concerned themselves with survival. 

Then, they realized they should concern themselves with _living_ , even as everything they ever loved died around them.

~*~

They remembered being born. 

Coming out of the egg fully formed, a horrifying personification of death meant to inflict the final end on anyone who dared challenge the King. They had _Nen_ from birth, before they ever knew the word _Nen._ They were a singularly devastating biological killing machine, and only happened to take the form of a seemingly unassuming feline, feminine person.

The first thing they found was Rammot, the pathetic rabbit-Ant who would be King, babbling to himself. Just their presence alone had been enough to stun him into compliance, and he had appropriately groveled at their feet in the face of their power. Neferpitou was brand new, a child of darkness born into a world unready, and even then they knew that they were different from the other, lesser Ants.

They learned things from Rammot and the other, lesser Ants: about _Nen_ , and auras, and about the nature of their own power. They remembered the ‘rare human’ - which they now knew was a Hunter - and how they rooted around in his brain, literally, to extract the secrets of _Nen_. At the time, it was a simple thing; a dissection, the way a student would dissect a frog in a science class. They thought nothing of it, at the time.

Today, they often thought about how the Hunter was in his state of undeath at their hands. They regretted it now, though they had long learned that just because one regretted something, that doesn’t mean one could put it back together.

They remembered watching the Ant squadron leaders and deeming them pathetic, for their inability to use _Nen_ properly; not pathetic in a moral sense, but pathetic in a simple, hierarchical sense of fact. They did not understand then, as they do now, that they were exceptional: a rare, possibly once-in-a-lifetime specimen, born already one of the strongest _Nen_ users on the planet. They thought so little of the Ant squadron leaders, because they were a Royal Guard and the squadron leaders answered to them.

It was the appropriate order of the world, and Neferpitou did not question the appropriate order of the world then.

They remembered Kite, though they did not know his name then. They remembered seeing him with _En_ , though they did not know that it was called _En_ , from more than a kilometer away. They knew, now, that to be able to extend their _En_ so far was itself a miraculous feat of power. But they remembered the important aspect: that they harbored no malice towards Kite; only a childish, sincere desire to test their strength against the nearest suitable prey.

They did not consider the humanity of Kite, as they took his arm, and then his head. They did not consider the depravity of taking away a mentor and older sibling-figure from a pair of young boys, right before their eyes. Neferpitou only wanted to confirm that they were strong, by hunting the strongest available prey - as nature had intended, they believed.

Sometimes they dreamed of Kite now, and felt only horror for what they had done to him. The experiments they had done on him - and on the other, lesser Ants - for the sake of the order of the world they thought was true.

~*~

They still remembered the first time they saw Komugi, playing game after game of Gungi with the King. 

They didn’t think much of it at the time. Shaiapouf seemed convinced the King wasn’t going to beat the young girl at her own game, but Neferpitou was always confident in their King. Perhaps it would not go as quickly as they had hoped, but they were sure it would happen eventually. 

They remembered feeling something new, something different, at the sight, however. They might have characterized the feeling as amusement, though they would never feel amusement at the expense of the King. At the time, Neferpitou did not understand it. Now, they did: what they felt was fondness, a familial happiness at seeing their King bond with another creature on an emotional level, slowly but surely. 

At seeing him develop empathy, without either of them even realizing what it was. 

They remembered the subtle change in pressure, the shift in how the King’s aura permeated the room. Neferpitou was a master of _Nen_ , practically born a master, but they didn’t understand emotions enough at the time to understand the significance of it. They simply believed the King’s competitive drive and will to be the best were refining his _Nen_ in accordance with his mind. 

They thought so little of the little girl who played Gungi, at the time. They didn’t see yet how she was the most important person in the world.

~*~

Neferpitou remembered the horror they felt when they saw what the King had done to his arm.

They did not dare voice this concern; they were not as foolish as Shaiapouf was, to believe that they knew better than their King. But they felt horror all the same, at what the King would do to prove how exceptional his will was.

They remembered, later on, sitting on the spire of the castle, extending their _En_ out for kilometers and thinking only of how they wanted to fight. To test their strength, to remain in adequate form to protect the King. To become stronger still, so that no one could ever _dare_ harm the king. They did not think like that now, and that they ever did was sickening in a way to them.

They, too, developed empathy without even realizing it. It snuck up on them slowly, like a subtle mist over a lake.

They remembered when the King asked what his name was. Neferpitou did not know, so they offered the advice that felt most right: that it was only the King’s own feeling that could grant him a name. Only much later did they learn the name the Queen had granted him on her deathbed.

Sometimes they wondered if it was appropriate, but… part of them understood that maybe, the King had always needed that familial connection, and his lack of it had harmed him. After all, the King had embraced that name in the end, and who was Neferpitou to question the King for following their advice after all?

The King called them ‘Pitou,’ and they understood now that there was the tiniest amount of affection there. Neferpitou remembered fondly the day the King struck them in the face, intending to kill. The blow failed, and the King’s acknowledgement of their ability was utterly remarkable. They were a tool, a vessel, merely an extension of the King’s will - and yet he acknowledged their power when it wasn’t necessary.

The Royal Guard Neferpitou realized only later that the King, in his own way, had affection for them, even if the King may not have realized it himself.

The King had asked them what would happen if Komugi went through the Selection, and they had been honest. Neferpitou was always honest with the King. 

_“She would die,”_ they had told him.

_“Because of Komugi, I have learned there are different forms of strength…”_

When the King mused about potentially snuffing out talent in a child he had killed, that was the moment that Neferpitou realized that the King had changed. He was different. They suspected Shaiapouf knew too, with his ability to read minds; they felt the subtle changes in their fellow Royal Guard’s aura, changes born of anguish and worry for the King.

But Neferpitou did not see something to worry about.

They saw only beauty; the beauty of the King, learning something new - something that he cherished. The King had backtracked on his observation, declaring violence was true strength, and Shaiapouf was foolish about it as he always was. But Neferpitou had realized that the girl had changed the King; it was only later that they fully understood how, and how good of a change it was.

They remembered when the King ordered them to protect Komugi. He did not quite phrase it that way, but that was what they understood the order to be. At the time, even they found that strange, though not in a bad way like Shaiapouf seemed to. They continued to follow that order even to this day. 

It became what they lived for, in the absence of the King himself.

~*~

_I had a feeling._

That was how they knew to look up, to see that sparkling dragon falling from the sky; to realize they were under attack. The glittering, overwhelming power of the two most powerful human _Nen_ users on the planet, falling upon the palace from on high like angels of death. They remembered their miserable failure to stop the dragon, to stop the shattering shards that destroyed the palace.

Most of all, they remembered finding the King - and the absolute, _heavy_ despair radiating off him - as he held Komugi’s bleeding, broken form in his arms.

_“Pitou. Heal Komugi. I’m counting on you.”_

The last words he ever said to them. They would remember it for the rest of their life. In the moment, they had cried tears of joy at the conviction and faith the King had in them, that they could save Komugi.

In the end, they did save Komugi. In this task, they did not fail their King.

They kept their promise.

~*~

**_“Do you remember? I am Gon Freecs!”_ **

Oh, they had never forgotten little Gon Freecs and what he looked like. They didn’t register the words at first, though they would recall them later in nightmares. They never forgot the fear, the horror, the anguish they felt, realizing that he would try to prevent them from keeping their promise. That he was so consumed by hatred and a drive for revenge, he would murder a little girl in order to obtain what he desired.

When Neferpitou felt the _weight_ of despair in young Gon’s aura, they understood pain - true pain, emotional pain - in a human for the first time. Because it was the same _weight_ that the King’s aura had, when he had held Komugi in his arms.

Neferpitou adopted the stance of a mother in that moment, to defend the child entrusted to them by the King. They did not do so knowingly. It was the power of instinct - the raw biological truth of DNA passed down by generations of evolution, perfected and honed like a blade in them - that led them to do it.

They did not truly realize yet _how much_ that Komugi had become important to them, because she was important to the King.

But they begged - they _pleaded_ with Gon, to have mercy, to stay his hand. They broke their own arm, to show how serious they were when Gon almost turned on his ally - Killua was his name, Gon said. It was agony, pure fire of pain in their body, and yet they didn’t feel it at all in the moment. They knew only the impulse to protect, so as to keep their promise.

They said, at the time, that it was to protect the King. But they also admitted that the girl had become important to them too. And it was the truth; the truth of those words washed over them like a wave for only a moment, but it was the truth all the same.

It would simply take years for Neferpitou to understand the full significance of that truth.

 **_“Why are you only thinking of her, after doing such a horrible thing to Kite?”_ ** Gon had screamed at them.

They had found the courage to respond, even as Gon readied his attack. It was only a whisper, and yet it was the only words they could find.

 _“Because I learned that I was wrong,”_ they said.

They weren’t sure precisely what they were wrong about; was it the killing, the nature of the order of things, or the idea that only the King could matter to them? They knew only that they had been, on some fundamental, wrong about the world, as they faced Gon.

In his fury, Gon had even turned on his friend Killua. But they felt the subtle shift in his aura at their words; the registration, however small, of the acknowledgement that Neferpitou has harmed him and Kite. Still, he was still all emotion, all anger, demanding the impossible of them: to bring back the dead, to heal the mortal wounds they had caused.

They agreed to all of his demands, even if neither Gon nor Neferpitou knew at the time that the demand was impossible, because it was necessary. 

It was the longest hour of their life. They could hear the sounds of battle outside, though they were unsure what was truly happening without _En_. They were not sure if their King was okay, and that was agonizing.

But they made a promise to their King: they would protect Komugi.

They resolved, during that hour, to keep that promise as if Komugi were their King, because they knew it would make him happy. The idea, in itself, of making him happy… it was elating, to a deep part of their dark soul they didn’t know could feel any emotion at all.

They remembered when they told Shaiapouf to stay back. They did it for the sake of Komugi, and they saw the subtle look of surprise in Gon’s eyes, only for a fleeting moment. Shaiapouf was convinced that Gon wanted to save the girl, but Neferpitou knew better. Gon would kill Komugi in a heartbeat, in his state of emotional intensity and instability, and then their promise to the King would be broken.

Then Neferpitou would be broken.

They begged with Shaiapouf to cooperate. And Shaiapouf, the traitorous, duplicitous, moronic fool that he was, decided to be troublesome. He decided to push the limits of what he could get away with, potentially at Komugi’s expense, and to demand explanation from them. Neferpitou was never properly afraid of death, in that moment… not their own death, anyway.

They were afraid of Komugi’s death.

When Shaiapouf recklessly took off, leaving the fate of Komugi in Gon’s hands, Neferpitou almost yelled out - almost panicked. But something in them snapped; they began to cry, instead. To cry, in fear for Komugi, and in turn, the King. Gon looked at them with dead, angry eyes, and Neferpitou said the only thing they could think of to say.

_“I’m… I’m sorry Gon. Please just… let her go, when I heal her…”_

Gon took away time for healing because of their words, but they saw that flash of surprise once more in his eyes.

They considered if Gon was a threat to the King, when Gon sent the other man away, but realized that really, Gon only had eyes for them. He had sent the other man away, because he wanted to fight Neferpitou alone. It was them he came to destroy - and it was them, that he would follow.

They could protect the King simply by staying away from him.

The thought was painful. But so was the thought of Komugi’s death. So they accepted it, in the moment, as they considered how they could evacuate Komugi.

It was a fateful decision, in the end.

~*~

_“I trust Pitou.”_

They were kind words in the abstract, and yet Neferpitou would never forget the chilling horror those words brought them.

They felt fear, trepidation, and sorrow, as they followed Gon to the place where Kite rested. It was their feelings, and yet they could also feel the same from Gon. Neferpitou was afraid of Gon; afraid of his willingness to kill Komugi, a defenseless blind girl, just to spite them. Gon was afraid that Neferpitou couldn’t heal Kite at all. They felt it in his aura, even as he tried to maintain resolve that it _must_ be possible, and it _would_ be done.

They didn’t realize that they were being called. That someone was trying to reach them, with a faux urgent message, a desire to manipulate and deceive.

Their cell phone had been crushed during the Dragon Dive, and they didn’t even notice until days later.

It was when they looked at Kite, that they realized they had reached the end of the line. They hadn’t realized that ‘Kite’ was the man they killed and turned into this puppet until they saw him again. It was then that they realized Gon had asked them to do the impossible.

_“Gon… you said your name was Gon, right?”_

_“Yeah. Heal him.”_ His words were short, but his fire had died a little in the face of Kite’s form.

_“I can’t, Gon. I never… I never could, I just didn’t know it was him. He died, the night that I met him. What you see now is just a soulless puppet. I cannot bring back the dead, only heal the living…”_

_“I’m sorry, Gon,”_ they had said.

They released their _Hatsu_ , to demonstrate that Kite was just a puppet - that his soul was long gone.

Gon fell to his knees, tears in his eyes. And Neferpitou fell to their knees as well, with their own tears, as the full weight of what they had done crashed over them like a tsunami. They saw, in Gon’s eyes, the same fear and sorrow for Kite, that Neferpitou had felt for Komugi - and for the King.

They didn’t bother to heal their arm, even as the pain began to bite at the edges of their consciousness. It wasn’t important. They just… sat there, for a few minutes, sharing the sorrow that Gon felt. Gon was muttering quietly to himself, that it was his fault - that he had killed Kite.

The agony in his voice brought agony to them too, as they felt true empathy for a human for the first time.

When they stood, Gon flinched, seemingly expecting an attack, or a _Hatsu_. Neferpitou had slowly approached Gon, hands open and forward, until they reached him. Then they gently placed their right hand on his shoulder, ignoring the furious pain in their broken arm.

_“You didn’t kill Kite, Gon. I did. And… I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t.”_

He didn’t react. Neferpitou felt all of his fight die in his aura. They decided that he was no longer a threat, and thus, they left him to grieve. It felt only right, to them, to give him that respect, when he had let them heal Komugi in the end. 

They ran into Killua on the way out, and he looked primed to fight. When he skidded to a stop in front of Neferpitou, blue lightning crackling around him, Neferpitou recognized that Killua was willing to fight them _even though he knew_ that they could obliterate him in a heartbeat. He was willing to do that _for Gon_ , believing that they had either killed Gon or that he would have to protect Gon, and Neferpitou recognized that bond as perhaps being as strong as what Neferpitou felt for the King, in its own way.

 _“Gon is inside. He’s unharmed, but… he needs you,”_ Neferpitou had said, hoping Killua would choose Gon over them.

Killua did not try to stop them as they left, instead heading straight inside. They would be forever grateful for that, in the end. As they left, they felt a phenomenal _spike_ of powerful _Nen._ It felt like Gon… but like so much _more_ than Gon's aura had ever been. Neferpitou did not stop to find out what had happened, and only found out much later what horrors they had narrowly avoided.

After Killua went to find Gon, they continued on, intent on finding Komugi, using their inhuman abilities to bound back at supersonic speeds.

~*~

It was by chance that Neferpitou ran into the two Chimera Ant soldiers.

At the time, Neferpitou did not know their names. But they were in the process of going into the underground area… and the experimental soldier had Komugi wrapped in her hair.

It was happenstance, because Neferpitou did not stop to heal their arm until they made it back to the palace. They were planning to force their _En_ out as far as it would go in order to check for Komugi, but first they needed to fix the damage. Likewise, the pain and irritation of their arm had slowed them down in their journey to return.

They made it back right after the King had used his own massive _En_ … and Doctor Blythe prevented them from using _En_ and giving their position away to Menthuthuyoupi, not that Neferpitou knew that then. Later on, with as much of the full story as they could get, Neferpitou reflected on whether they would have been able to fight Menthuthuyoupi… and if that would have been the right choice.

The two Chimera Ant soldiers were frozen in fear as Neferpitou healed their injury. The two were so afraid of them, that they both did not realize that Neferpitou was vulnerable in that moment.

Neferpitou watched them with their cat eyes and immense intensity, and had spoken as Doctor Blythe did its work.

_“You will give Komugi to me… or I will **destroy** you.” _

The female Chimera Ant, the experimental soldier, had set down Komugi on the ground then, and Neferpitou eyed her sleeping form intently. She appeared to be knocked out, and she had a visible bruise growing on her chin. Neferpitou finished healing themselves and almost released their aura in a murderous, intense explosion of power.

But they recalled that Komugi appeared to have developed _Nen_ of her own, and she could not protect herself from Neferpitou’s own bloodlust while unconscious.

Neferpitou was left with an unpleasant choice at that point, as moments stretched into moments. They wanted to grab Komugi and bring her to the King, but they were unsure of where the King was, and if the other Royal Guards were with him.

 _“Pouf tried to kill her,”_ the experimental Chimera Ant soldier had said softly, and suddenly Neferpitou’s entire decision was recontextualized.

They had picked Komugi up in their arms, and she weighed effectively nothing. That was when Neferpitou decided to flee with Komugi, and hide her while they came up with a plan. They would protect Komugi, as the King had ordered them to, until such a time that the humans had been removed and Neferpitou could speak to the King directly.

Neferpitou took Komugi and ran into the night, narrowly missing an encounter with Menthuthuyoupi without even realizing. They had begun using _Zetsu,_ and their fellow Royal Guard didn’t see them running away.

It was a fateful decision, as Neferpitou did not realize that they would never see the King again.

In the end, they slipped away under the cover of moonlight, with Komugi safe in their arms. They didn’t realize that inadvertently, they had prevented the King from finding the girl only a short time later. Likewise, they had unintentionally prevented the King from killing Komugi, with the virulent sickness swirling in his body from the rose bomb.

The King would die soon after, alone and without anyone to hold his hand. Neferpitou never knew, until much later.

But what they _did_ learn was that they lived - they had _always_ lived - for promises. Not for survival, or for power, or to reproduce. They lived for the promise of serving the King; for the promise of building a better world for the King. And now, they lived to fulfill their promise _to_ the King, to protect Komugi with their life.

They had kept their promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I'm so nervous to be posting something for a new fandom, relative to what I've been writing.
> 
> The title and the lyrics in the first summary come from 'Loneshark' by 'Our Hollow, Our Home.'
> 
> This story is dated December 14th, in my Google Drive, but I knew I wanted to write it around the end of November I think. My wife and I watched Hunter x Hunter together over the course of a few months and Neferpitou is by far my favorite character in the show. I love their dynamic, and how they develop in the story in relation to Gon and Killua. I think their character arc, and their death, is one of the most pivotal moments in the entire story to be honest, which is impressive considering how late into the game it comes.
> 
> But this is fanfiction so fuck that, Neferpitou gets to live.
> 
> I have an outline of twelve chapters, currently, for this story. The first third focuses almost exclusively on Neferpitou and Komugi, the second third brings in Killua and Gon and focuses on their relationship, and how Neferpitou mattered to them, and the last third focuses on... more general Hunter stuff. Since this is my first go at writing Hunter x Hunter, if I get something really wrong (probably with Nen, honestly), feel free to let me know. I spent an inordinate amount of time staring at the wiki to write this, although I will say that the changes in dialogue from canon in this chapter are all generally intentional (and most of them either draw from the subbed anime or the manga).
> 
> The Chimera Ant arc is a tragedy, about how if only the little things had gone differently, they didn't have to fight and kill each other like that, to me. So I wanted to show how so little - even just the words they chose to say - could have changed so much.
> 
> For our purposes, I'm treating Neferpitou as they/them non-binary, but characters will react to them as feminine. The story begins in 2000 (I found a handy little timeline and everything, thanks Hunter x Hunter wiki), and Neferpitou situationally accepts both masculine and feminine pronouns and titles. I hope that isn't too off-putting to people who may feel strongly one way or another about how Neferpitou's gender should be written.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	2. Learning x To x Survive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neferpitou and Komugi try to figure out how to survive, in a world that’s a little bit out to get them.

It was three weeks later, that Neferpitou began to grasp the gravity of the task they had set themselves up for. 

They were in the Republic of Hass now, living in the shadows and trying to master keeping their aura to an absolute minimum, if not maintaining _Zetsu_ outright for as long as they could. It was such a wild shift in priorities for them. They were used to passively asserting dominance with their aura; freely expanding it out, to openly declare to all of the prey around them that they _should_ be afraid.

Now, they needed to hide. They tried desperately to teach _Zetsu_ to Komugi, but… the girl was unresponsive.

When she had awoken, her first question was about where she was, and what happened to her family - and the King. Neferpitou thoughtlessly had told her the truth: that her family was gone, and that the King was likely dead. They had seen the news reports, lurking around coffee shops and other semi-public businesses with television screens, indicating that the Hunter Association was declaring successful containment of ‘the natural disaster’ that had afflicted East Gorteau.

Komugi hadn’t said a word since then, though Neferpitou sometimes heard her crying softly. They remembered that she had expressed past thoughts of committing suicide to the King, and so they tried to cheer Komugi up by reminding her that she was still the Gungi champion, and that the King would not want to see her give up until she had been beaten.

That seemed to placate her enough not to try and harm herself, though Neferpitou resolved not to let her out of their sight, just in case.

They quickly learned several things about the Republic of Hass. It was relatively ‘conventional’ by human standards; not particularly advanced or powerful given its size, but not militarized like East Gorteau had been nor spartan and agricultural like the NGL had been. Neferpitou quickly realized that they stood out like a sore thumb among humans, though humans didn’t really recognize what they were precisely, only that they were unusual.

They used their _En_ at maximum output only once, and discovered there was a literal handful of _Nen_ users in the city they’d stopped in. They quickly retracted their aura and began to practice a constant state of _Zetsu_ , even as they moved Komugi to a new city to try and avoid detection in case any of the _Nen_ users had detected their overwhelming presence.

Neferpitou quickly learned that the most important thing they understood about human society was that they _didn’t_ understand human society very well. They kept saying things that unsettled or unnerved people, on top of their generally unusual appearance and that they were carrying a young, despondent blind girl on their back at all times. Neferpitou understood some things, having read many books to understand humans as prey. But now they were living among humans as a fugitive, not as a predator. They saw wanted posters go up with their sketched profile on it, offering a reward of over a billion Jenny just for information about their whereabouts.

They got lucky when a man walked right into them, carrying a black duffel bag in one hand and his cellphone up to his ear in the other. He was an unpleasant man, immediately blaming Neferpitou for the issue even though he had walked into them in his inattentiveness. Neferpitou was unperturbed. The impact of him into them was like the impact of a fly on a human. But then he dared to mock Komugi for her blindness, and asserted that Neferpitou must have been equally blind.

They used their incredible, inhuman speed to trip him. They might have killed him, if they weren’t among a crowd, but truthfully Neferpitou was also tired of killing. They did find satisfaction from how he bloodied his nose and dropped his bag when he hit the ground, however. 

Neferpitou deftly picked up the bag and walked off with it, Komugi still on their back, before the man even turned to find out how he fell. He called after them, but they were much too fast for him to ever hope to catch. 

~*~

The second most important lesson Neferpitou learned about human society was that humans valued money, almost above all else. 

Keeping Komugi fed was already difficult enough; Neferpitou didn’t know how to cook, since they could freely eat their food raw. They had stumbled through the first few weeks keeping Komugi’s stomach full by a combination of clumsily cooked game and what they could carefully snag from food stalls using their speed. Unfortunately, casually committing street crime was something that could draw attention - and Neferpitou also wanted to try and establish some normalcy for Komugi, if they could. 

The man’s bag that they took had about twenty thousand Jenny in it, some clothing that was too big for either Neferpitou or Komugi but served as adequate pajamas so that they could at least do laundry once, and a small travel kit with a new toothbrush, toothpaste, and some soap. Neferpitou used some of the money to get a hotel room, and for the first time in a month the two had somewhere nice and indoors to sleep - as opposed to in caves or alleyways. 

They helped Komugi change into pajamas and use the cleaning supplies, and they wore the most suitable of the clothes they could to go wash the pair’s regular clothing at the hotel laundry. But that used up pretty much all of the money, once Neferpitou set some aside for the next few days of food for Komugi. 

It did leave them with an empty duffel bag though, and that got Neferpitou thinking. 

They knew humans kept money in banks. They used the lobby computer the hotel left for guests and found the nearest bank. Komugi had fallen asleep and Neferpitou put the ‘do not disturb’ sign up. Even leaving her alone for the short time they planned to be away gave them anxiety, but they hoped this would be quick. 

They were wearing their normal clothes again: the blue jacket with the big fake brass buttons, and their preferred pinstripe pants and socks, along with their flats. They would need to repair some of the damage on the clothes, but that would come later. 

They landed on the roof of the bank and walked over to the door. Neferpitou suspected the bank would have some kind of security system. The palace of East Gorteau had something like that too, and they had become familiar with it. So they gripped the handle of the door, counted to three, and twisted it open with their raw strength. 

They sprinted down the stairs towards the lower levels of the bank, using _En_ to check around. No one was there at close to one in the morning, so they ran quickly until they found the vault. 

For a normal person, opening a bank vault with raw physical force wasn’t practical. Hell, for most advanced _Nen_ users it would be a great feat of prowess. But Neferpitou was the first of the Chimera Ant King’s Royal Guards. More importantly, though they did not know it at the time, they were likely the single most powerful _Nen_ user on the planet, after the King himself and Netero had died. 

So they used all of the _Nen_ they could muster and their natural inhuman strength, and twisted the bank vault right off its hinges. Opening the door to the roof had set off the silent alarm; destroying the vault door sent the alarms on full blare, but they had only been in the building for about two minutes. They set the bank vault door gently to the side, mindful of creating more dust than was necessary. 

Then they dashed in, filled the duffel bag with money in all of its pockets, and then dashed back up the stairs to the roof and ran away. They took a circular, winding route around the city rooftops before daring to go near the hotel, maintaining _Zetsu_ the entire time. Even when they got back they carefully waited on a nearby rooftop to see if they were followed. 

Nobody came.

In the end, Neferpitou returned to the hotel room that night only having been gone for about forty minutes. Some of the security cameras caught blurry images of their face in the dark, so the next day they quickly left at five in the morning, even as the hotel front desk person immediately called the police on them.

But Neferpitou still managed to secure twenty million Jenny in that duffel bag.

~*~

They moved to a new city, about twenty kilometers west.

It turned out, Neferpitou was already internationally wanted for being a walking person of mass destruction, so adding ‘bank robber’ to their list of crimes was fairly minuscule in the grand scheme of things. Neferpitou found that they were irritated with themselves for not thinking of a face covering, but it was a learning experience at least.

With some of the money, they bought new clothes. It was hard, when Komugi wouldn’t talk to them about what clothes she might have liked, or what her size was. Neferpitou also had no idea what size they were, and that took a fair amount of fiddling too. They discovered they were very petite compared to the average human female, but also somewhat tall relative to the same. Even shopping exclusively in the section for small women and young girls, it proved difficult to find things that fit them.

They settled on simply wearing clothes that might not fit entirely properly, and they also bought a few heavy scarves, beanies and coats with hoods to wear, along with sweatshirts for Komugi. It was September of 2000, but Neferpitou was unconcerned about their own body temperature regulation. Covering their ears and face was a far bigger concern, and Komugi could wear the sweatshirts with the sleeves rolled up until it got colder in earnest.

They went to the library next, and Neferpitou took them to the section on human history and society. There the pair sat off and on, almost every day, stopping only to feed Komugi or to go to the hotel for the night. Neferpitou steadily read every single book in the section, aided by their lightning fast reading speed and photographic memory.

Neferpitou also found a lengthy fantasy series for young adults that had copies in Braille. The librarian was a younger woman, and she was so very kind and bright, with long black hair done up in a bun most days and pretty hazel eyes. Neferpitou found they liked to look at the librarian, though they weren’t entirely sure why, and they appreciated the help she gave them picking out books in Braille for Komugi.

After a week and a half, Komugi said something again for the first time in more than a month.

“Sir Pitou?”

Neferpitou stopped reading and looked up abruptly in surprise. They were so stunned that Komugi had spoken, they blurted out the first question that came to mind.

“Is that… a title, Komugi?”

Komugi turned her head towards Neferpitou and smiled softly with closed eyes. She still looked sad, but she looked more alive than they had seen her in what felt like ages. 

“You’re the King’s Royal Guard, so that makes you a knight!”

Neferpitou hummed neutrally in response.

 _“Nyah,_ but the King is… I’m not a Royal Guard anymore…”

“Well, you’re my guard, aren’t you? You can be my knight, now!”

She didn’t say that she had been, in effect, the King’s new Queen - at least in a spiritual sense - but Neferpitou understood the implication and accepted it. What the King and Komugi had transcended mere romance into something more fundamental, something Neferpitou did not claim to understand despite having been witness to it. Neferpitou wondered if even Komugi understood what it was, but… Neferpitou knew that the King had been important to Komugi, and Komugi important to the King, and that was what mattered, they decided.

“Okay, ‘Sir Pitou’ it is. Did you need something, Komugi?”

Komugi smiled and reached out a hand. She flattened her palm, and Neferpitou gasped. She had a Gungi piece in her hand. It must… it must have been one of the Gungi pieces of the King.

Neferpitou felt the tear going down their face before even realizing they were devastated at the sight.

“I wanted to know if you could… could you make this into a necklace for me? I’ve been carrying it.”

Neferpitou blinked only once in confusion.

“I will be happy to learn how to do that for you, Komugi,” they whispered, trying hard not to cry more and make a scene. They reached out and gently took the game piece, placing it in their pocket.

“Thank you, Sir Pitou. I also wanted to ask… would you let me teach you how to play Gungi?”

Neferpitou took a sharp breath. Part of them felt like that was almost sacrilegious, that it was blasphemous for them to play with Komugi, when it was her game with the King. But… Komugi was clearly so sad and lonely, and yet she looked so hopeful and happy when she asked Neferpitou the question.

“I… I will try to learn that, too,” Neferpitou settled on.

And that was what they spent most of the rest of autumn at the library doing.

~*~

Neferpitou had nightmares in the past.

When they were still a Royal Guard to the King, they would have abstract, almost hallucinatory dreams of vague shapes and shadows attacking the King. They didn’t sleep much; they only needed about three hours of sleep a day, and could operate on less if necessary. But when they did sleep, they did occasionally have nightmares; never dreams, only nightmares.

That night, when they went back to their double bed hotel room from the library, Neferpitou had new nightmares. They saw themselves performing forcible brain surgery on the rare human, and awoke only to immediately retch into the garbage next to the bed. They fell asleep again an hour later, only to have a nightmare of themselves sitting with Kite’s head in their lap, and once again woke up to their own sickness rising in their throat.

Neferpitou didn’t try to sleep again after that, that night.

They got up and sat in the uncomfortable, stiff lounge chair of the hotel room, trying and failing to read a magazine left there. The one saving grace, Neferpitou decided, was that Komugi slept like the dead. They knew she was safe - they could hear her heartbeat and breathing, and feel her aura softly - but… Komugi didn’t register Neferpitou’s movements at all.

It helped that they could move effectively silently.

They read a grand total of three pages of that magazine over the course of an hour, instead seeing images from their nightmares. What they found curious, in a morbid way, was that the nightmares… they were just memories. There was nothing unusual about them, it was just that seeing those memories now made them sick, where before they had cared little.

It troubled them. They also felt an almost overwhelming sense of loss and sadness, that the King was truly gone, and they didn’t know what to do with that feeling. It had been there since the night they took Komugi and escaped, but… now it was too great, too heavy to ignore.

They resolved to think more about it later, when they went to the library again.

~*~

The same librarian was there again that morning. She worked a lot, Neferpitou noted. They weren’t sure why they noticed this, however.

They sat down, Neferpitou and Komugi, and began their normal routine with only the smallest twist, after Neferpitou spoke to the librarian to borrow materials. Neferpitou balanced a book in their left hand, and used their right to arrange a Gungi board and their pieces on one side. Komugi got to be the white pieces, and Neferpitou was the black pieces. 

They were wearing a black long-sleeved sweater with a white tank top underneath, and some gray jeans. They also got some black and white tennis shoes; it was difficult to fit into regular shoes, and the shoes weren’t very comfortable.

It was still strange, in a way, to wear clothes that were not what they wore as a Royal Guard. Still, it was necessary. They wore a gray scarf and a black beanie as well, hoping to keep their appearance hidden. Neferpitou had begun to shower regularly and brush their hair, on suggestion of Komugi, who indicated that although she couldn’t see, it was what her family had done and recommended in the past to remain ‘presentable’ for Gungi tournaments.

Komugi, Neferpitou decided, looked very nice in more conventional human clothes. Neferpitou had helped her dress in a pink t-shirt and gray cardigan, and she was wearing blue jeans and little gray tennis shoes. Neferpitou had quickly realized they had no idea how to do the fancy hair tie… things, that Komugi used to wear, so they watched internet videos on the library computer until they were able to do a more conventional braid in Komugi’s long white hair.

Komugi would probably need a haircut, though. The thought made Neferpitou sad; it was like she would be losing another piece of home.

“Are you ready to start, Sir Pitou?” Komugi whispered. Neferpitou looked up and smiled, then realized that wouldn’t work. They cleared their throat instead.

 _“Nyah,_ yes I am Komugi. You need me to call my moves, right?”

Komugi nodded and opened her eyes. They were a stark bluish-greenish gray, and Neferpitou regarded her for a moment before they made their first move and whispered the coordinates. They had read two different handbooks on how to play Gungi in the time they’d sat there, and the black-haired librarian was nice enough to provide them with a board and pieces that the library kept for general use.

Komugi made her move and then tilted her head towards Neferpitou.

“Do you think… he’s happy, now?”

Neferpitou blinked in confusion for a moment before it registered with them who she meant.

“I’m not… sure, honestly. I would like to hope so.” Neferpitou looked meaningfully at Komugi, knowing that the girl couldn’t see the gaze, but unsure of how else to convey the way they felt. “He _was_ happy, I think? At the end. You… you made him happy. It was amazing to see.”

“Had he never… did he not know how to be happy?” Komugi asked quietly, and sadly.

“We didn’t know what happiness was,” Neferpitou admitted sadly.

They continued to play Gungi after that, in silence except for whispering move coordinates. Neferpitou lost ten times in a row to Komugi despite trying their hardest. They could feel the aura coming from Komugi relative to the game, and could tell that playing against Neferpitou was effortless for the girl. 

Still, she seemed… a bit happier, but only while playing Gungi. Neferpitou still had trouble reading humans, but they had slowly learned to read Komugi, or at least they liked to think so.

Komugi believed her life to be worthless, because in East Gorteau, it had been. To Neferpitou, it theoretically was as well. Neferpitou was the most powerful living Chimera Ant, and a Royal Guard, while Komugi was a young blind girl with the barest _Nen_ aura who could play a board game very well. Yet Neferpitou increasingly realized, as they lost game after game to Komugi, that Komugi was all they had left to live for.

Perhaps, Neferpitou reflected as they were checkmated once more, this was what the King had felt too. It warmed their heart, which was a new and unusual, although not unpleasant, feeling.

“Sir Pitou… are you okay?”

Neferpitou blinked and refocused on Komugi.

 _“Nyah,_ I’m okay. Why?” Neferpitou reflexively wanted to swish their tail, but they had taken to wearing it like a belt under their pants, to keep it out of view. Their ears twitched under their beanie.

“I just… you know it’s okay, to talk about it, right?” Komugi said, her voice very low and solemn. Neferpitou frowned in response.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Neferpitou countered.

Neither of them was really okay. Neferpitou suspected that perhaps they were both the only thing keeping each other going.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, yet…” Komugi admitted softly.

So they didn’t. They kept playing Gungi, and Neferpitou kept losing every game.

They learned new strategies and tactics. They learned little tics that Komugi had; how she would look a certain way when she was very carefully considering a move (she didn’t do it often, against Neferpitou), how she would reach for a tissue from the box on the table once every two minutes or so, and how she would gently tap her knees with her fingers if Neferpitou took too long to think of what to do.

It was interesting, and Neferpitou found they didn’t mind at all if they lost every game.

Well… they minded a little bit. But they would never admit that.

~*~

The next day, they did not go to the library.

Komugi indicated that she was okay, today, to stay in the hotel room. Neferpitou hugged her close and made her promise that she would call them, if she wasn’t okay. Komugi had nodded, and subconsciously, her aura was positive; not happy, but affirming. Neferpitou could confirm that Komugi would be okay, at least for a little bit.

Neferpitou had secured a simple burner phone, and made sure the hotel room phone had Braille markings on it. Komugi indicated she would be sitting in her bed and coming up with new Gungi moves, so Neferpitou helped her set up a simple plastic board they had bought for that, made sure there was food within arm’s reach, and then went out for the day.

Their target was a local printing shop they had discovered that probably did illegal ID manufacturing under the table. It took a lot of careful snooping and eavesdropping for Neferpitou to determine this, in between trips to the library and local food places. They went out, wearing a gray sweatshirt, a black beanie, and black jeans, along with a dark leather purse they had bought to carry money.

It was kind of awkward, Neferpitou determined, to use money without bank cards or bank accounts. But they needed ID for that, so to the printer they went.

When they walked in, it was a very… grungy place. It didn’t look like they had swept in maybe a decade, and the wooden counter needed to be wiped off. Cleanliness was a thing Neferpitou never used to care about, but they found themselves caring about it more now, and that was curious to them.

The clerk - a rather weedy, suspicious looking skinny man with black hair in a bowl cut and thick-rimmed glasses on his big nose - eyed them with trepidation as he sat behind the counter. He was wearing a white button down short-sleeved dress shirt and sitting on a stool, eating some kind of cheese fries, and he conspicuously had gotten some on his shirt and didn’t seem to care.

“Hey, lady, do you need some printing done? We take cash or card, I’ll help you over here.”

Neferpitou’s eyebrow twitched. 

They had decided, when they had learned about human gender, sexuality, and pronouns through reading, to use ‘they’ because it felt ‘right.’ They had what most humans would consider female tertiary sexual characteristics, but didn’t really feel right with ‘she,’ and couldn’t place why. Still, they had never really cared very much about it in the past.

Something about this weedy little man rubbed them the wrong way, however, with how he spoke and addressed them.

Neferpitou strode silently up to the counter and set their purse down on it, then looked straight at the man’s slightly dull brown eyes with their own vivid, cat-like red and gold eyes.

“I need two sets of photo identification sufficient for international travel, _nyah.”_

They set down two photos - one of themselves, and one of Komugi - that the kind librarian had been nice enough to take for them and print out at the library. They also set down two notes that had the appropriate information for each of them, that Neferpitou had carefully written out by hand on notecards the librarian gave them.

It took a number of tries to get them written in a way that was legible, as Neferpitou had little practice with writing.

The weedy man squinted at Neferpitou. He seemed only momentarily surprised at what they asked for, but they suspected that they were not the first person to walk in out of the blue like this for such a thing.

“That’s gonna be five million Jenny - though I should charge you a lot more than that, what with being a fugitive and all.”

Neferpitou looked dimly at the man. He had aura, they could feel it.

“Do you know what _Nen_ is, _nyah?”_

The man titled his head at them and frowned.

“Yeah, I use it to make the IDs look better, why?”

Neferpitou had been using _Zetsu_. They switched to _Ten_ , and saw all of the color drain out of the man’s face, and his expression shifted to pure horror.

“If I use _Ren_ , you will probably have a heart attack,” Neferpitou said matter-of-factly.

They dropped a million Jenny onto the counter in five bundles.

“I’ll be back in a week, and you can have the rest then when you finish.”

Then they switched back to _Zetsu_ , and picked up their purse to leave. The man looked suitably terrified as they did.

Like he had seen the face of his own predator, walking out of his nightmares.

~*~

The librarian’s name was Rose. 

Neferpitou learned this the next day, when they and Komugi went back to the library. Rose had introduced herself properly, when Neferpitou went to borrow the library’s Gungi board.

“Are you two doing okay, over there?” Rose asked politely.

Neferpitou felt… warm, and slightly unpleasant. They believed the term was ‘embarrassment,’ though they had never felt like this before.

“Ah… yes, we are good. Thank you so much, for being… so kind to us,” Neferpitou said cautiously.

Rose just smiled. Her hazel eyes were more brown than green, and Neferpitou blinked in confusion at the thought. Then they somewhat awkwardly and mechanically walked over to the table Komugi was waiting patiently at, along with the stack of books for the day for Neferpitou to read.

“Is she pretty, Sir Pitou?” Komugi asked quietly when Neferpitou sat down.

Neferpitou froze, and felt… warmth? In their face? What was this?

“Is who pretty, _nyah?”_ Neferpitou demurred, pretending like they didn’t know exactly who Komugi meant.

“Rose, silly. I can hear pretty good, y’know. Kinda… it kinda comes with the territory.”

Komugi was smiling with closed eyes, and Neferpitou cursed the fact that she couldn’t see their scowl.

“I don’t think I’m a very good judge of that, Komugi,” Neferpitou said insistently. They began to set up the Gungi board.

“Well, do you think I’m pretty?” Komugi asked.

Neferpitou froze, and realized that Komugi probably had no idea what she looked like - and probably thought very little of herself, if she did.

“You are very pretty, Komugi,” Neferpitou said quietly, and sincerely, as they returned to setting the board back up.

Komugi hummed positively in response and then smiled. She blew her nose quickly before tossing the tissue in the garbage under the table, where Neferpitou always gently pushed it forward with their foot when the two sat down each day.

“Can you tell me what I look like, Sir Pitou?”

Neferpitou finished setting the board up and appraised Komugi, trying to find the right vocabulary to describe a human outside of a clinical context. Neferpitou had read countless textbooks now on human anatomy, history, and physiology, but they had read precisely zero fiction, poetry, or other texts on how humans described each other casually and socially.

That was probably a mistake, in retrospect.

“You… you have dark, heavy brows, and beautiful gray eyes. You have a very small nose, and thin lips, along with long silver hair that is very pretty.” Neferpitou blinked and tilted their head, trying to be poetic. It was hard… really hard. “You are petite, but still young. I don’t… know exactly how old you are, but I suspect you have growing to do yet. You’re not very tall, but you’re not an abnormal height for your… age.”

Neferpitou trailed off. They kind of suspected they failed, at not sounding like a weird doctor instead of a normal person. To their surprise, Komugi just smiled and giggled a bit.

“But you think Rose is pretty in a different way, don’t you?” Komugi replied with a small smile. It was absolutely teasing, Neferpitou knew this, and they scowled in reply once again even knowing it did nothing for the blind girl.

Stooping to their lowest impulses, they stuck their tongue out at Komugi silently before speaking.

“Don’t be silly, _nyah,”_ they said, and they meant it.

Rose… they might like Rose. Rose was pretty, and kind. But they didn’t know anything about Rose. Part of them took a tiny comfort in these feelings; they were the kind of feelings that could only exist when one had empathy for another person.

But… Neferpitou couldn’t have that kind of relationship with a human. Chimera Ants were dangerous and destructive, and their biological matter had been molded by nature to be lethal to other creatures at the microscopic level. Rose - and by extension, all humans - were _prey_ to Neferpitou, and they weren’t confident they could control their basest impulses to kill and reproduce if they weren’t in a carefully controlled environment.

Even being around Komugi was dangerous. It was only Neferpitou’s sheer resolve to keep their promise to the King, and to protect the blind girl who had lost everything, that kept them moving.

That was what Neferpitou told themselves, at any rate, to maintain their walls of emotional unavailability to the world.

Komugi took every opportunity, upon winning Gungi matches that day, to tease Neferpitou about Rose. Neferpitou grumbled in annoyance at their young charge each time. But part of them was happy, because the teasing and the Gungi games made Komugi almost look happy again, even if it was surface-deep.

Neferpitou realized that day that they wanted Komugi to be happy again.

~*~

Later that night, in the hotel room, Neferpitou found they couldn’t sleep at all.

That wasn’t strictly speaking a problem, given that they didn’t need that much sleep, but it left them restless and bored in the small hours of the night.

They stared out the second-story window from the stiff hotel chair, their chin in their right hand, and sighed. They just felt numb, and empty. They kept seeing the face of the King, when they closed their eyes, and it filled them with an indescribable, inconsolable sadness that they didn’t have the right words for.

The clock said it was two in the morning. They made a snap decision, got dressed in some heavier clothes, and grabbed the empty duffel bag. Then they crept down to the lobby of the hotel and left without the front desk person even noticing. When they were a sufficient distance away, they jumped into the sky, using their inhuman strength and speed to go to the next city over.

They robbed another bank, the same way they had the first time. There was nobody around, in the middle of the night, and they were more mindful this time of keeping their scarf up and their beanie down. The Hunter Association didn’t have a good photograph of their face, only an artist’s sketch and blurry camera images, so they wanted to keep it that way.

They walked out with another twenty million Jenny, and returned to the hotel room by about halfway to four in the morning. They did need the money, of course, but…

Part of them did it just to feel something, to have something to do, to feel busy. They couldn’t stave off the crushing feeling of restlessness that threatened to clench their heart into dust, but at least they could be productive.

~*~ 

That morning, a housekeeper stopped Neferpitou when they crept out of the room to get breakfast for Komugi.

“Oh, Miss! Miss! Good morning, I’m sorry, er…”

Neferpitou blinked in confusion at the housekeeper, feeling very silly wearing a baggy black sweatshirt and some black sweatpants along with a red beanie. They didn’t really mind the housekeeper’s choice of title, and found the idea of correcting her to be likely more trouble than it was worth.

“Did I do something wrong?” Neferpitou asked cautiously, and the housekeeper quickly waived her hands defensively and shook her head.

“Oh, no Miss! I just wanted to let you know that we’re supposed to clean your room after you’ve been here for so long no matter what. I know that you have your ‘do not disturb’ sign up all the time so I wanted to ask you…” She trailed off, and Neferpitou made a little ‘O’ with their mouth.

“I see. Uh… one moment, I will be right back, okay?”

The housekeeper nodded and Neferpitou dashed inside and grabbed a stack of Jenny. The banks kept them in 2,000 Jenny notes, bound in stacks of a hundred each. They walked back out and handed it to the housekeeper, whose eyes bulged out of her head at the sight.

“My… sister is blind, and I don’t really want you to clean our room, _nyah,”_ Neferpitou began, trying to give a reassuring smile. “But I would like some towels, if that’s okay?”

The housekeeper took the money reverently and nodded like a bobblehead. Neferpitou gently shut the door and gave the housekeeper one last smile before they walked away. When they returned from breakfast with a small tray of food, there were two full sets of towels waiting on the ground by the door along with a little card that said _‘thank you’_ in neat penned handwriting.

Neferpitou, after that, got in the habit of leaving the towels and linens at the door and spoke to a front desk person about the best way to approach things when they didn’t want their room cleaned. It was an enlightening experience, and the hotel staff was all very kind.

Nobody ever bothered them about cleaning the room again.

~*~

The rest of September and October proceeded much the same.

Neferpitou and Komugi played a lot of Gungi; Neferpitou never won, although they were probably very good now relative to a normal person. Neferpitou did work up the courage to ask Rose to help them with making a necklace out of the King’s Gungi piece, and Komugi took to wearing it religiously.

Neferpitou read every single book in the nonfiction society, history, and politics sections of the library. They began to read some fiction, as well, and Rose provided them a recommendation list of fiction that was considered ‘foundational.’ Neferpitou gave her a story about having dropped out of school and wanting to pick their education up, and the way Rose’s face lit up made them feel very warm and fuzzy inside in bizarre ways.

One day, Neferpitou snuck a million Jenny in an envelope into Rose’s purse towards the end of the librarian’s shift. She didn’t seem to notice before she left.

When Neferpitou and Komugi returned the next day, Rose had the most utterly bemused expression on her face as she looked at Neferpitou. They waved at Rose and tried not to look simultaneously very guilty and very amused.

They did take the time to go pick up the fake IDs, as well. The weedy printer didn’t even accept payment for the IDs; instead, he asked Neferpitou to never come within ten kilometers of him again, which they were happy to comply with.

He did not smell very good, after all.

Their new name would be ‘Jennifer Phillips,’ which was a relatively neutral name for the United States of Saherta, where they planned to move to. Komugi would be ‘Kayla Phillips,’ their younger sister. The fact that they each had close enough hair colors and she was blind, so she could claim her eyes had been the same color as Neferpitou’s, was convenient. They both didn’t look much alike otherwise of course, and Neferpitou felt bad at the loss of their names.

It was necessary, however. They would need to travel soon, to escape the immediate area around East Gorteau.

~*~

“Sir Pitou?”

They were both sitting in the hotel room in early November, listening to a game show on television, when Komugi asked one of the most important questions of her life. 

Neferpitou looked up from their food; today, they had decided to order pizza, because that was what Komugi… what Kayla had wanted. They were both still getting used to the new names, and accordingly Neferpitou cleared their throat gently.

“Ah, right. Jenny?”

Neferpitou smiled; that would do.

“Yes, Kayla?” Neferpitou said.

Their pizza was split half-and-half, with Komugi’s being veggies and Neferpitou’s being chicken and pepperoni. They suspected they might be lactose intolerant, but if they were it just made their stomach make funny noises when it digested. Pizza was very unhealthy, but Neferpitou could see the appeal as they raised their piece up for another bite.

“You aren’t human, are you?”

Neferpitou’s train of thought crashed to a screeching halt and they could almost _hear_ the record scratch in their mind, and for a moment they couldn’t think of anything to say at all. They had their piece of pizza halfway up to their mouth, and only the cheese beginning to drip onto their paper plate made them come back to reality and set it back down.

They cleared their throat again, a bit more urgently, and then sighed.

“What makes you say that?” 

It wasn’t quite a denial, but it could be if Komugi was just operating on a hunch. Neferpitou also found that they couldn’t bring themselves to mentally erase their names, even if they could do so verbally. It was too comforting, to cling to that last life raft in the wreckage. Neferpitou was afraid that otherwise, they might drown.

“I can… you explained _Nen_ to me, remember? And I learned… I can’t remember what it was called…”

 _“Zetsu_ _,”_ Neferpitou provided quietly, and Komugi smiled.

She didn’t have to remember what it was called, they decided, as long as she could do it. Which she could, quite admirably in fact. But Neferpitou had forgotten that constant _Zetsu_ made one more sensitive to the auras of others.

“That. And since I started doing that all the time… I can sense you more now. You feel… really different from everyone else, Jenny. Why is that?”

Neferpitou sighed again. They could lie, they supposed, but what was the point? They had periodically stopped using _Zetsu_ in Komugi’s presence a few times for demonstration purposes, so they knew Komugi knew something was off. The pair had also run into two other people who could use _Nen,_ or at least had aura worth registering, so she now had a frame of reference for the typical aura of an average human with _Nen_ was like.

“I am something called a ‘Chimera Ant,’ Kayla. _Nyah,_ we… we are a species that is typically very small.”

Neferpitou stopped to collect their thoughts. Seeking out literature on Chimera Ants was one of the first things they did after birth and while waiting in East Gorteau, so they had a good grasp of their own biology now.

“Basically, Chimera Ants eat other organisms, as is typical, and then incorporate aspects of those organisms into their bodies to become stronger.”

Komugi frowned. She didn’t have her head turned towards Neferpitou, and instead she faced towards the wall with closed eyes. Her piece of pizza sat half-eaten on a paper plate in her lap.

“Ants are _really_ small though, aren’t they?”

“Correct, _nyah._ The Queen that I was born of was special, and she was born… larger than a human. I do not know how. But she was able to eat larger animals and breed very large Chimera Ants.”

Komugi hummed neutrally in response.

“Are K… k… the Ants usually smart like you?”

Neferpitou smiled sadly in response; this was the hard part they had been dreading.

“Chimera Ants are not usually, no. Our colony became smart because… we ate people.”

Komugi gasped sharply even as Neferpitou began to cry silently. This topic was something they had considered heavily in the past few months, but to say it out loud was something else entirely. Foolishly, part of Neferpitou had hoped that this would never come up, somehow. That was silly… but they still had hoped.

“Did you… did you _eat people_ , Pitou?” Komugi breathed.

“I did,” they said simply. “Mostly the leftovers. We primarily brought food for the Queen. I was the first-born of the Royal Guards of the King. The King wasn’t born much longer after I was.”

Komugi looked a little bit like she might be wearing her pizza in a moment. However, she seemed to collect herself, and grimaced before responding.

“So how… how old are you, Pitou?”

Neferpitou hummed thoughtfully, counting on their four-fingered, paw-like hands even as they blinked away tears.

“I believe I was born in late May. So roughly five months,” they replied, trying to keep their tone even.

“And the King?”

“He was born in late June, so he was only… a few weeks old, maybe slightly more than a month, in the end. We were born as… adults, by human standards.”

“That’s crazy…” Komugi whispered with something between awe and horror.

Neferpitou had never really considered the implications of such a thing properly before, but it occurred to them in that moment that they had no idea how long their expected lifespan would be. They were, as an organism, utterly unprecedented.

“Can you tell me what you look like?”

Neferpitou swallowed heavily and bit their bottom lip with their upper canines.

“I uh… I have whitish, short hair; it’s similar in color to yours. I have cat ears on top of my head, and cat eyes that are two-tone red and gold. Most humans would characterize me as feminine, and I have chitinous, bug-like knee and elbow joints. I have no belly button or nipples because I’m not a mammal, and…” They trailed off, realizing they were being too clinical again.

Komugi giggled at them.

“Are you pretty, Pitou?” She asked softly.

Neferpitou wanted to say ‘no, of course not.’ Because they were a monster, a singularly terrifying biological killing machine born to gather and harvest humans like humans gathered and harvested livestock, not a normal person. But they thought about how recently, Rose kept watching them with intent eyes and a dusting of pink on her cheeks as they walked past and waved, and Neferpitou couldn’t help but smile to themselves.

“I guess some people might say so,” they admitted, feeling… shy.

“Was the King handsome? I imagined him as an old man…”

Neferpitou’s smile became softer.

“The King had a distinctly nonhuman appearance. I would say he was the most remarkable, utterly unique looking creature I’ve ever had the privilege of having seen, _nyah._ But…” Neferpitou huffed air through their nose in amusement at the light blush on Komugi’s own cheeks. “He was very handsome, in his own way.”

Komugi didn’t ask them any more questions after that, and the two finished their now room temperature pizza in companionable silence. But when Neferpitou slept that night, for only a few hours as was typical for them, they didn’t have nightmares as had become the norm.

Instead, they dreamed of the King, and the way that he looked at Komugi in the end. Only now did they recognize his expression as having been one of fondness - and that Neferpitou now felt fond of Komugi in their own way, though not the way the King had felt.

The King had truly been special.

~*~

It was the end of November, when things went south.

It was finally cold enough, at long last, to justify how heavy the clothing Neferpitou tended to wear was. People stopped giving them weird looks, at least, for wearing a beanie and scarf everywhere, and it had snowed lightly.

Neferpitou had determined that nobody recognized Komugi at all. Nobody seemed to even care that she was gone, and they learned that she had been presumed dead in East Gorteau. That made them angry; Komugi already had issues surrounding her self-worth, and the idea that the world had just _forgotten_ about her… it was terrible, in Neferpitou’s opinion.

Rose helped them book airship tickets and print them out. The plan was to leave late next week, as they sat in the library on a Thursday afternoon next to the public printer. Rose looked sad, when she saw what they were up to, but Neferpitou tried to be optimistic.

They would still have time to say goodbye, Neferpitou had believed.

Neferpitou bought some more bags to pack their clothes in, and a backpack for each of them as well. Komugi had gotten used to walking alongside Neferpitou again, and Neferpitou had learned to adjust for the younger girl’s pace. Accordingly, to prepare for travel, Neferpitou had also bought the girl one of the conventional ‘white canes’ that were used by blind people typically in industrialized human countries, as her walking stick from home had been lost when they fled.

It was interesting to walk next to Komugi - holding her hand on the left side, typically - and keep pace while allowing Komugi to feel out her surroundings.

Part of Neferpitou’s mind, the part that demanded efficiency and quickness and _‘go, go, go,’_ pointed out that they could get so much _more_ done if they just carried Komugi and dashed around. But… part of Neferpitou found that they just enjoyed walking slowly through the city. It was nice, and they realized they never would have enjoyed such a thing even a few months prior.

It was when Neferpitou and Komugi returned to the hotel, that they realized there was an issue. The front desk person - a young man, today, who had brown hair and green eyes - would usually have greeted them. Instead, he made a vague jabbing motion with his left hand, towards the hallways that contained the rooms, and then pretended like he hadn’t done anything as he looked away. 

Neferpitou raised an eyebrow at that, and then readied themselves for trouble.

When they stepped out of the elevator, Neferpitou peeked around the corner and frowned. There were two police officers at their hotel room door, seemingly waiting. When the two of them saw Neferpitou, one called out and they began to rush towards them.

“Komugi, I’m going to have you stand in the corner here, okay? Don’t move, and cover your ears.”

Komugi made a noise of surprise as Neferpitou grabbed her by the shoulders, as gently as they could, and maneuvered her into position. Then she did as they had asked, and covered her ears, facing the corner with her nose nearly touching the yellow wallpaper.

Neferpitou did not _plan_ to kill the police officers, but frankly they were not sure how to fight frail humans in a non-lethal way. There was an unnatural quality, to have been born a killing machine meant to hunt humans, and trying to fight humans non-lethally. Neferpitou was not sure how to reconcile that fact.

When they stepped back into the hall, the first officer had already reached them.

“Ma’am, you’re under arrest!” He said, and he reached out a hand to grab them.

Neferpitou effortlessly intercepted the arm - the police officers didn’t even have _Nen_ , it was genuinely tragic - and twisted it around his back. Then they slammed him into the wall, where cracks appeared from the impact, and he slumped forward and slid down the wall with a little blood mark.

He was still breathing, but they definitely broke his nose and probably some of his face. They, from their perspective, barely even touched him.

The second officer pulled out a service revolver and began firing at Neferpitou. They raised their arm and covered their front with _Ken_ , and the bullets crumpled against their hardened body and aura and fell off, only damaging their clothes. The officer looked appropriately horrified, and Neferpitou distantly considered that they should experiment at some point to find out if they were natively bulletproof without _Nen._

Then they _disappeared_ , and came to a graceful stop right behind the officer, who clearly had no idea what had happened. They chopped him as lightly as they could at shoulder blades, and he fell over into a heap. They definitely felt a bone break when they did that, but hopefully the damage wouldn’t be permanent.

Unfortunately, the gun shots would probably have alerted everyone in the hotel, and maybe outside, too. Neferpitou sprinted back to Komugi and scooped her up, ignoring her gasp of surprise. She dropped her white cane and Neferpitou caught it with their free hand.

Then they ran back to the hotel room and kicked the door in, sending it flying right into the room, as their kick separated it from the hinges.

They would have to practice holding back more, another time. It came easy with Komugi, from their instinctual need to protect. Other people… were harder, though.

Figuring out how to carry three duffel bags and two backpacks, and a blind girl on top of that, was a challenge. It might have been easier, had there not already been sirens outside. Neferpitou did the best they could, and they were quietly grateful they had been able to create a bank account with one of the larger international banks and deposit most of the money they’d taken in chunks, moving from branch to branch to make the deposits and mixing up the bank notes to do so. That, in retrospect, was probably what gave their location away, but at least they didn’t have to carry the money now.

They could only hope the account didn’t get frozen.

Komugi held on for dear life as Neferpitou zipped through the city by rooftop towards the international airport. The police were expecting a foot chase so they didn’t even bring a helicopter right away.

By the time they did, the pair of fugitives were long, _long_ gone.

~*~

Neferpitou and Komugi did successfully board the airship.

For a single, tense moment, Neferpitou was terrified an air marshal was going to stop them, when he walked past doing an inspection. But he just smiled and waved. They realized that the Hunter Association must still not have gotten a decent picture of them, and resolved in that moment that scarves were their new best friend.

Komugi was clearly rather shaken, and looked quite sad, sitting across from them in the booth. Neferpitou got up briefly to get a box of tissues from one of the flight attendants after takeoff was complete, and set it gently in front of Komugi. They also made sure they got a plastic garbage bag, to collect the tissues.

Idly, Neferpitou wondered if Komugi should have such a runny nose all the time; most other humans did not seem to.

That was something to resolve another time, as the airship took them towards Saherta. They wouldn’t be staying in Yorknew, because it was rather expensive to live there and also because it was a hub for organized crime. Neferpitou might be an absolute killing machine and one of the most powerful _Nen_ users alive, but even they didn’t want to deal with that kind of headache all of the time. There was a major port city on the southern coast of the United States of Saherta, and that was the general area where they would be staying for at least a while.

Neferpitou was not entirely sure what they would… do, precisely, when they got there. They had many plans for Komugi; they had determined that she was roughly fourteen, and had plans to enroll her in school, have her see some doctors and especially a therapist, and find out if there were any extracurricular activities she might want to do that were practical. But Neferpitou had no formal educational background and all of their knowledge of human society - which, in fairness, was not inconsiderable at that point - was self-taught.

Still, they did have a healing _Hatsu_. Perhaps they could work in a hospital, in some capacity. Although, _Nen_ was apparently not widely known among humans, and Neferpitou had no formal educational background in medicine, so that would be challenging. It was strange to realize that Neferpitou had an academic-level understanding of human anatomy, but that was worth nothing without a degree of some kind.

As Neferpitou daydreamed about future plans and watched the wide, slightly cloudy blue sky, they realized something.

They didn’t say goodbye to Rose.

The thought was painful - more painful than Neferpitou would have expected. It felt… good, in a way, to feel that kind of empathy for a relative stranger. But Rose had also been so helpful to them, and Neferpitou not only felt sad, they also felt _guilt;_ not an unusual feeling for them, these days, but this was a new and unexpected form of it.

They never did see Rose again, though they blindly sent a letter to the library in the city they’d been staying in, a few years later. They never got a reply, and could only hope that Rose lived a happy life after that day.

She would have deserved that, if she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really related to Neferpitou trying to learn how to adult basically from scratch. Even with photographic memory and an inhuman reading speed, it's no easy feat.
> 
> I made some educated guesses and took some liberties with how I am assuming Chimera Ant biology would work, in a way that is hopefully narratively interesting. Neferpitou being a quick study and not needing a lot of sleep... is not necessarily to their benefit, all the time, as we'll see. I'm also assuming that Jenny is just Yen, so I was using the Yen-USD exchange rate to roughly gauge how much money values I should be using, since the story rarely gives much info on that.
> 
> Nen combat is utterly fascinating to write and conceptualize when it comes to drafting. This story will not be very action-heavy, but when it comes up, I am hoping to have fun with it.
> 
> Gon/Killua is going to be the primary ship content in this story, once they show up Eventually (tm), but some other ships will show up later on, mostly as a background thing. I'll tag those as they become relevant, since I wouldn't want to spoil things. A lot of the primary cast of Hunter x Hunter will make an appearance at some point, though some will be more important than others.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	3. These Open Doors x And x Ticking Clocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neferpitou and Komugi made it to somewhere safe. Now, they have to figure out how to live.

Neferpitou and Komugi arrived in the city of Jefferson in late November of 2000. 

It was relatively colder there, located at the southern miniature sea that the continent of Yorbia surrounded, and it served as the United States of Saherta’s main southern port on the sea. When the pair stepped off the airship, it was lightly snowing, and Neferpitou moved quickly to secure them a hotel room for the next few days.

The first thing they did, once they had placed the pair’s things in the room and gotten Komugi some food, was check a lobby computer. They, much to their curiosity, found that their bank account was _not_ frozen. That implied that the next most likely cause of Neferpitou having been found was either the weedy printer man, or perhaps simply being seen in public. They resolved, as a medium term goal, to work on being less conspicuous.

They had about thirty-six million Jenny to work with, between what was in their account and the amount of physical money they continued to carry. That wasn’t ‘never work again’ amounts of money, Neferpitou had determined, but it was ‘okay for the time being’ amounts of money. So they set to work trying to find them a permanent residence.

They didn’t want to risk buying a house, so as they sat at the lobby computer of the hotel they searched through listings for rentals. It seemed like there was a lot available, but Neferpitou was mindful of trying to find a place that would be comfortable for Komugi. They might have been able to run up or down seventy flights of stairs in less than five minutes every day without discomfort, but Komugi _probably_ didn’t want to do that.

The housing market in Jefferson, Neferpitou quickly learned, was rather awful. Indeed, the entire economy in Saherta was apparently rather awful, and Neferpitou gathered that the recently elected government was probably responsible.

The news in general fascinated them; there was a new Chairwoman of the Hunter Association, there were tensions among the V6 nations as the Kakin Empire sponsored some kind of trip to the Dark Continent, and apparently two stupid men had some kind of public death match in Heaven’s Arena and killed a large number of people on live television.

None of that particularly _concerned_ Neferpitou, but they did find it _fascinating_.

Eventually, they found a number of reasonable one-bedroom apartments to view, and decided that they could just sleep on the couch so that Komugi could have a decent room. That was about the moment that Neferpitou realized that they didn’t actually own any furniture, and that becoming a functional adult in the human world from scratch was a _nightmare._ So they spent the rest of the afternoon furniture shopping, and were quickly overwhelmed with all the choices.

Neferpitou went to bed that night profoundly irritated at human furniture, and the expectation that home décor actually matched rather than simply picking things with random colors as one became intrigued scrolling through the options. They also cursed how easily distracted they were when browsing things for purchase, and resolved to work on that at some point.

The next day was much of the same. In the end, Neferpitou and Komugi spent four days in a hotel before Neferpitou was even able to arrange a viewing for an apartment.

~*~

“So, what brings you to Jefferson?” The rather chipper agent said as Neferpitou followed behind.

They had left Komugi in the hotel room with some food and her Gungi board, but Neferpitou was sorely regretting that decision now. How would they know if Komugi would like the place they chose to live? They were looking for places with accommodations for disabled people, but they didn’t actually think to ask Komugi what accommodations she would want.

In their panic, Neferpitou stood rigid, and the apartment agent turned to look at them, concern clearly written on her face.

“Are you… okay?” The agent asked, and Neferpitou was startled. They had to work hard to maintain an outward appearance of normality, lest they scare humans with their subtly inhuman presence.

Lest the humans around them realize there was a predator amongst them, a wolf among the sheep.

“I’m okay, _ny--”_ Neferpitou cut themselves off with an awkward cough. They would say _‘nyah’_ when they were comfortable, as well as other vaguely cat-like mannerisms, and they needed to stop that. “I’m fine, please, proceed ma’am.”

Neferpitou held out their hand, and the agent gave a slightly unnerved smile before continuing on. She didn’t notice - or perhaps, ignored - that they didn’t answer her question, and Neferpitou was silently grateful for that.

This apartment had white walls and an open floor plan kitchen. This other apartment had laundry in-unit, but that was really expensive per month. The third apartment had lime green walls, which were a bit of an eyesore, but it was on the first floor.

Neferpitou ended up looking at no less than twelve apartments, and by the end even they were mentally exhausted. The agent seemed unperturbed, however, and she seemed to become more comfortable the longer she spent in Neferpitou’s presence. That was good, Neferpitou decided; it was good practice, for attempting to not frighten every random person they met with their presence alone.

It took Neferpitou two weeks to find a suitable apartment, and by the end, they could tell Komugi was going a bit stir crazy. She was too nice to say anything, of course, but Neferpitou was becoming attuned to Komugi’s wavelength and mannerisms, both in terms of _Nen_ and just as a person.

Neferpitou had felt it, like a metaphysical thread being cut, when the King had died. They had denied, to themselves, that it was what it was, but they knew. Seeing the news reports - the Hunters practically _celebrating_ the death of the most important person who had ever existed, to Neferpitou, even if it was veiled in euphemism - only confirmed it, forcing them to face reality. But now, with Komugi, they felt like they were metaphysically aligning with her in a way so powerful it surprised them.

They could smell and feel the subtle shifts in Komugi’s presence, they could hear how her heartbeat would change when she got excited playing Gungi or how it would slow when she slept. Neferpitou could tell what kind of mood Komugi was in even without _Nen_ now, and it was even easier with _Nen._ Unfortunately, Neferpitou had a terribly difficult time with other people, but that would come with practice.

They hoped, anyway.

~*~

Moving. Moving was now Neferpitou’s least favorite thing.

They had bought an entire apartment’s worth of furniture, between physically going to stores and shopping online. Neferpitou had stressed out about whether or not the furniture would look nice together so much that _Komugi_ had noticed, and teased them about it.

“Jenny, what’s wrong?” She had asked, and Neferpitou had stopped what they were doing.

They were sitting in their hotel room, the last night before moving day. All of the furniture that Neferpitou had bought was scheduled to be delivered over the course of the next few days, and they were to pick up the keys to the apartment - a first-floor unit, thankfully - the next morning. Neferpitou realized, to their moderate embarrassment, that they had been making increasingly strangled noises of frustration as they clicked on the little laptop they’d bought.

It was moderately difficult to type on a human-created keyboard with their bigger, four-fingered hands, but they were trying to learn and make do.

Neferpitou… _may_ also have robbed a few more banks. Only a couple. They made sure to go a few cities over, and never hit the same city twice. The news was quite fixated on it, talking about the mysterious bank robber who somehow destroyed bank vaults with no explosives. Unfortunately for them, Neferpitou had learned how to spot and disable cameras now.

Either way, they had money, so Neferpitou had a laptop. And Neferpitou looked up from their laptop to Komugi and frowned, licking their lips as they thought of the right words to say.

Everything for Neferpitou was about feeling, instinct, seeing, analyzing. They were a predator, and they were striving to learn human body language as quickly and efficiently as they could, as a now mostly passive observer. Komugi, on the other hand, was all about _hearing._ And that meant Neferpitou had to verbalize their feelings and thoughts as words, and Neferpitou was no good with words.

“I… I am concerned our apartment will look silly,” Neferpitou admitted after a moment. “I’ve been having trouble picking out furniture.”

Komugi turned her head towards Neferpitou, her eyes still closed, and had a slightly befuddled expression on her face. Neferpitou unconsciously held their breath, realizing that they should have _asked_ Komugi if she had any preferences for their furniture. Neferpitou was so stupid! They had just made all these decisions, and now Komugi would be disappointed--

“Jenny… I can’t see the furniture.” Komugi’s statement cut through Neferpitou’s impending internal spiral. “So as long as it’s comfy furniture, I don’t… only you will see it.”

Neferpitou blinked several times, very slowly, as they processed. Then, they began to laugh, openly and earnestly. They really were preposterous. A grin spread across Komugi’s face as Neferpitou laughed, and then she giggled too; Neferpitou so rarely laughed, between their sorrow beneath the surface and constant focus on _doing_ and _preparing._

It was probably the happiest they’d been since the King had died, and Neferpitou cherished the feeling, even if it was all too fleeting.

~*~

It took them a week to get everything settled in the apartment.

It was _so frustrating_ for Neferpitou to stand by and watch the moving men bring all the furniture in. The men were always just a touch patronizing - after all, Neferpitou and Komugi were now Jennifer and Kayla Phillips, seemingly a young, slightly frail pair of sisters moving into an apartment for the first time - and it took all of Neferpitou’s willpower not to demonstrate that they could carry the furniture with one hand.

When the moving men were finally done, Neferpitou _did_ carry much of the furniture one-handed, moving things around and setting up things how they wanted. They had gotten a couch and a coffee table, a kitchen knife set and a variety of cooking utensils and accessories, a queen-sized bed for Komugi along with some nightstands, and various other decorations, such as a few strategically placed lamps - and there was still more to buy as they figured out what they still needed.

Neferpitou made absolutely sure that the furniture was arranged to their liking, and then watched and occasionally assisted as Komugi carefully navigated the space, slowly memorizing the placement of things and tapping with her white cane. Once the furniture was placed, Neferpitou planned not to move any of it except for cleaning at specific intervals, so that Komugi could find her way through the apartment as she wished.

That was also about the point when Neferpitou realized they had bought an entire kitchen’s worth of relevant small appliances, utensils, pots, and pans… and they still hadn’t learned how to cook. So as Komugi navigated the apartment - becoming increasingly whimsical and skipping about as she became comfortable, much to Neferpitou’s amusement - they went online and proceeded to read and memorize about thirty cook books’ worth of tips, tricks, and instructions on how to make healthy food.

Then Neferpitou went to the grocery store, and bought enough groceries for them to eat for roughly two weeks. Neferpitou had slowly felt out what was comfortable to eat and what wasn’t so much - they didn’t much care for vegetables but they could handle starches, whereas they could basically eat any meat, and so forth - and Komugi basically ate whatever was put in front of her. Neferpitou was also overwhelmingly relieved that, as they walked through the grocery store, nobody paid them any mind.

Maybe, they were finally blending in after all.

Neferpitou was feeling confident that they could finally be safe, and happy, as they put the groceries away. By the time they were done with it all, Komugi’s stomach audibly growled from her position on the couch, and Neferpitou looked up at the clock only to realize that it was already eight in the evening. 

So they sprang into action, with the cooking information they had memorized, and tried to make a simple pasta with meat sauce. Komugi gave encouragement from the couch, smiling and talking about how they could smell the food as Neferpitou progressed. Neferpitou was even having a little fun, and thought about obtaining a music player to use while cooking, in the future.

Unfortunately, they managed to burn the noodles on their first attempt, much to their dismay.

And so, Neferpitou and Komugi went to sleep in their new apartment for the first time, Komugi in the bedroom, and Neferpitou on the couch; they had to order take out, though.

~*~

For the first few weeks, Neferpitou was largely unconcerned.

They had money to pay for rent and groceries, and Neferpitou took to religiously budgeting and setting up a schedule for how they would spend their money. Now that they had an apartment and furniture, Neferpitou did not anticipate any significant or extreme purchases in their near future. Neferpitou had no need for a vehicle - nor did they presently know how to drive, anyway - and they initially planned to spend their time focusing on Komugi’s well-being.

The first thing they did was to bring Komugi to the doctor. Komugi let them know that she’d never been to the doctor before, much to Neferpitou’s dismay. They had false identities, of course, but Neferpitou also realized that they had no idea how to explain their lack of a medical history - especially since they _appeared_ to be an adult human, on cursory inspection.

In the end, the doctors didn’t ask _too_ many questions about Komugi’s unusual (lack of a) medical history. Neferpitou, of course, declined to be examined, but the doctors found that Komugi had some developmental problems from her history of relative malnutrition and poverty. Neferpitou offered a story about them being siblings who escaped from an abusive home, and the doctors seemed to accept that.

Komugi was prescribed some medications, and Neferpitou was offered tips on how to cook food for her properly. They also recommended some light physical therapy to help with Komugi’s developing back problems from previously always slouching with her walking stick. Neferpitou groaned a bit internally at that - getting to the appointments with public transit would be difficult - but accepted it as necessary.

They would keep Komugi healthy, regardless of what it took.

Komugi, for her part, seemed entirely unperturbed by the visit to the doctor, and Neferpitou realized that Komugi would basically accept anything Neferpitou did, as her new guardian. That moderately concerned them, and so they also began formulating plans for how to encourage Komugi to be more independent, and for how to show her that Neferpitou would not be like her parents had been.

It was during a long conversation where Komugi was telling Neferpitou about how she grew up as a poor Gungi champion in East Gorteau that Neferpitou realized something horrible.

“Ko-- Kayla,” Neferpitou began gently, when Komugi paused to drink some tea they made her. “Do you… actually know how to read?”

Komugi made a small noise of recognition and seemed to think about it very carefully.

“I can read pretty okay, I s’pose,” Komugi said. “I mostly understood those books you gave me back in the library. But nothing too fancy, I only learned for Gungi tournaments. I’m no good at writing, either.”

Neferpitou pursed their lips, and realized that they needed to add ‘formal education’ to the list of things to do for Komugi. They had planned to enroll her into conventional schooling, but between her minor health issues and her almost total lack of educational background, Neferpitou was reconsidering if that was wise right away.

Maybe Neferpitou would need to teach Komugi at least the basics, and get her caught up to speed relative to her age.

Komugi didn’t even know her own birthday; her family didn’t consider it noteworthy enough to keep track of. They had seen so little value in Komugi, and the thought made Neferpitou’s heart beat faster. They weren’t sure if the feeling was being upset and sad… or if it was anger.

Perhaps, it was both.

~*~

It turned out that Neferpitou was not the greatest teacher.

It was not for lack of trying, as Neferpitou and Komugi spent the better part of December and early January going over materials. Neferpitou found copious amounts of home-study resources online, and was able to source the necessary textbooks after much research into what each one was like.

Textbooks were _expensive._ If Neferpitou actually had to work for money, they might have been upset about it.

Either way, Neferpitou had _steeply_ underestimated Komugi’s deficiency in formal education. The realization of how little Komugi’s family had bothered to teach her - of how much they considered her unworthy of teaching - stabbed at Neferpitou’s heart at a deep level. So after the first few weeks, when Komugi had admitted she wasn’t really following what the hell Neferpitou was on about, Neferpitou had readjusted.

“Hey, Kayla?” Neferpitou said softly. They were on the couch, and Komugi was to their right, messing with her Gungi board. It was the late afternoon, after a long and mostly fruitless session of attempted studying together.

“Yes, Sister?” Komugi said, and Neferpitou smiled. Komugi was adjusting well to their cover identities, at the very least.

“Please, if I ever do anything that you don’t understand, or you’re not following along, or _anything,_ let me know, okay? You…” Neferpitou trailed off, squinting for a moment at the far wall in thought. “You should be a part of the decisions we make, too.”

Komugi smiled, and surprised Neferpitou when she reached over to grasp their hand.

“I trust you mean well, Sir Pitou,” Komugi said quietly, and fondly. Neferpitou made a little huff of a laugh, but also began to cry silently.

 _You shouldn’t trust me,_ is what they wanted to say. They remembered Gon’s words, then, and it sent a shiver down their spine. But they did not say that, because they did not want to make Komugi feel bad. Indeed, Neferpitou wanted Komugi to be happy - always happy - if they could help it.

That wasn’t realistic, of course. Neferpitou had finally gotten around to reading in-depth books about human mental health, and so they were adjusting their expectations accordingly - and planning to get Komugi into therapy at some point.

Distantly, they wondered if therapy would be helpful to them, as well. Then again, they weren’t human; maybe they were destined to be hopeless.

Neferpitou gently squeezed Komugi’s hand and smiled through tears.

“Thank you, Komugi.”

~*~

By the time they rolled around to April of 2001, Neferpitou was… mostly getting the hang of teaching.

Mostly.

“How are you handling the multiplication questions, Kayla?” Neferpitou asked softly as they stepped up to the little dining room table they had. Komugi had her worksheet in front of her, that Neferpitou had printed off, and they were waiting patiently for her to finish.

“It’s going. I feel good about it,” Komugi said with a smile, her eyes closed. The homework was in Braille, of course, and Neferpitou chanced a glance over Komugi’s shoulder.

She had… maybe seventy percent correct, so far. Maybe sixty-five, at least on a cursory inspection. At least Neferpitou had gotten _very_ good at reading Braille these last few months. A realization hit them, as Neferpitou walked away and prepared to make lunch for Komugi to eat while she studied.

Neferpitou had been away from the King now longer than they’d been with him. Indeed, that had been true for some time now, though the realization of how true that was hit them like a wave in that moment. Neferpitou gripped the kitchen countertop in surprise as their legs almost gave out under them - and then they made a strangled sound of surprise as they accidentally broke a chunk off and fell over.

“Sir Pitou?!” Komugi hissed, and Neferpitou chuckled despite how disoriented they were. Old habits would die hard, after all.

“I’m… I’m okay, Kayla. I just tripped.”

Komugi made a sound of disbelief, as Neferpitou stood up and brushed themselves off. When they looked back, they saw that Komugi had been halfway out of her chair, and couldn’t help but smile. Even in spite of it all - in spite of _knowing_ what Neferpitou was, and who they had been - Komugi was quick on the draw to come to their aid.

It made Neferpitou feel a tiny bit better, even as they began to sweep up the mess they had created. They made a mental note to create a work-order request for that to be fixed by the apartment complex, later on. When Neferpitou finished cleaning up, they looked over and saw that Komugi had finished and was waiting patiently, with her hands clasped in front of her on the table.

“All done?” Neferpitou asked.

“Yup!” Komugi said, and she beamed at them. Neferpitou smiled, happy to see that Komugi was taking to things a bit better now.

“Did you want me to grade it now, or wait for food?”

“I wanna know if I got it!” Komugi said, even as her stomach gurgled. Neferpitou hummed in amusement, but Komugi pouted, and they couldn’t resist that.

So they walked over and picked up the worksheet. They had the answer key on the other side of the table, and picked that up as well, quickly scanning the problems one at a time.

“Seventy-five,” Neferpitou whispered, and they looked down to see Komugi looking somewhat confused. Neferpitou cleared their throat and smiled. “Seventy-five percent. Twenty-seven out of thirty-six,” Neferpitou clarified.

Komugi had a cautious expression on her face, as she tilted her head.

“Is that… good?”

“It’s great!” Neferpitou said, and they meant it. It exceeded their expectations, and was also the best score that Komugi has gotten so far in this section. They reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder, offering encouragement. “I’ll make you a treat along with lunch, because you did well.”

Komugi was still smiling to herself when Neferpitou brought food to her, twenty minutes later.

~*~

They went out semi-frequently together.

As the weather got warmer, Neferpitou didn’t mind going places with Komugi. Neferpitou quickly realized that what they would find interesting tended to focus on _visual_ stimulation; they liked to watch things, fighting the urge to swish their tail as they followed motion or color. So Neferpitou sat down with their laptop one day and made a long list of places Komugi thought would be interesting, based on her feedback, and started working from that. They only studied together for about six hours each day, and only five days a week, so that left plenty of free time to do things.

A lot of days, Komugi did not wish to leave the apartment whatsoever. There were times when she would hole up in her room, with a Gungi board and some food and drinks. Neferpitou would hear her cry, sometimes, but they did not interfere. They understood that sometimes, Komugi just wanted to be alone with her grief, and other times, she would come to Neferpitou for hugs and cuddles.

Almost every day, Neferpitou did not wish to leave the apartment whatsoever. They quickly realized that nothing made them _truly_ happy outside, and part of it was how they were always pretending to be ‘normal.’ But they soldiered on for Komugi, smiling and laughing at the appropriate times when they would go somewhere. They did it _for_ Komugi, just like they had done things _for_ the King, and in that respect, the world clicked back into place for Neferpitou.

Sometimes, they would go to the park and just walk around, hand-in-hand. Komugi would discuss how she learned what different types of birds were like from sound alone, and Neferpitou would calmly match those names to the appropriate species and casual names so Komugi could learn. Komugi loved birds, Neferpitou learned, and animal life in general. But Komugi _experienced_ those animals in a totally different way.

Neferpitou, of course, had inhumanly sharp hearing and smell. They could smell when their neighbors would order pizza or other takeout, even several floors up. They could hear when their neighbors engaged in… _intimate_ activities, or got into arguments, or came home late from the bars. Sometimes, they could even feel the vibrations in the floor, when someone was walking several units away in the building.

But Neferpitou’s primary way of analyzing their surroundings was _sight,_ helped by extremely high processing speed for that information and night vision.

By contrast, Komugi experienced most things through hearing, and sometimes touch. But how Komugi took in and processed that information was entirely different, as well. Neferpitou was always about moving, doing, going, whereas Komugi was content to sit in the park on a bench for an hour and just… listen.

She was content just to _be._

The first time they sat still together on a park bench for a long time, it had been profoundly uncomfortable for Neferpitou. Slowly, however, they adjusted. Sitting still for long periods of time never became normal or pleasant, but it became tolerable, and Neferpitou began to find interest in just observing without doing anything, even if it wasn’t their preference.

At the very least, some of the medication Komugi was prescribed helped with her runny nose, so now she could smell things pretty well again. It made figuring out what kinds of food Komugi liked and didn’t like much easier, at any rate, and Neferpitou was _slowly_ improving as a cook, as well.

Another place Neferpitou brought Komugi was an indoor garden that hosted various rainforest life and tropical plants. The sheer amount of sensations and movement and colors and smells was almost _utterly_ overwhelming to Neferpitou, but they soldiered on. The look of awe and wonder on Komugi’s face, as she crouched forward with closed eyes and a warm smile to smell flowers or craned her neck to hear birds in the canopies above, was _enthralling._

Neferpitou had to excuse themselves for a few minutes and cry a bit in the restroom, because they asked themselves, what if the King had been able to see this? But then, they continued on, all the same, and spent the day listening to birds and smelling flowers with Komugi. It was beautiful, and it broke Neferpitou’s heart at the same time.

They went to some other places. Memorably, Komugi desperately wanted to go to the beach, so they went together in the middle of a workday when there wouldn’t be that many people. Neferpitou bought Komugi a simple one-piece bathing suit, and felt entirely silly wearing long pants and long sleeves, along with a hat and gloves. Still, there was barely anyone there, and the joke was on Komugi, because it wasn’t quite warm enough to swim yet in early June.

Neferpitou ended up setting out a towel and sitting cross-legged on the beach, grateful at least that they could not get sunburn. Komugi insisted that she did not need sunscreen, and Neferpitou let her go on without. She would learn her lessons the hard way, and as long as she stayed within Neferpitou’s line of sight, they were content to let her.

She came back red all over, and moaned about it for days as Neferpitou helped put aloe on her.

~*~

It was a dark night in August of 2001, that Neferpitou realized how unhappy they really were.

Komugi was long asleep, at close to one in the morning. Neferpitou was unconcerned for her at this point, when it came to sleeping alone. Their apartment had two locks, and Neferpitou triple-checked that it was locked before they left. Now, they were walking down the street, hands in the pockets of their sweatshirt as they idly looked around.

There was no real reason for Neferpitou to walk the streets of Jefferson at one in the morning. But Neferpitou didn’t sleep well - hadn’t slept well, really, since leaving East Gorteau - so down the sidewalk they went. There were some drunks and homeless people, and mostly, Neferpitou paid them no mind. They carried some paper money with them, however, to give to homeless people who approached them, mostly as a courtesy.

They had learned that was wise, as the homeless people would shoo people away from their apartment in turn. They knew who they were, by now. Neferpitou also considered distantly the moral calculus of doing it. They knew that giving money to random homeless people could _never_ make up for what they’d done.

But it was a start. It was _something._ And something was better than nothing.

“Hey lady, we saw you giving money to that bum a few blocks back. Hand over your wallet.”

Neferpitou stopped on the sidewalk and barely turned their head, almost imperceptibly. Three men, each about 190cm tall, probably more than 110kg, no detectable _Nen_ aura, one of them held a semi-automatic handgun.

They were not a threat to Neferpitou, and so, Neferpitou began to walk away.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!” The man in the front, wearing a gray beanie and red t-shirt, said. Neferpitou ignored him.

There was a rush of wind - one of them was running at them, Neferpitou could tell - and then something connected _hard_ with the back of Neferpitou’s head. If they were human, it probably would’ve put them on the ground.

But Neferpitou was not human, and the impact didn’t even move them. The man yelped in pain, and Neferpitou slowly turned to find him nursing his right hand. He probably fractured the bones in his fingers, judging by the sound and feel, and Neferpitou could smell the men's fear.

They did not understand what they were up against.

The second man - no hat, gray sweatshirt, shoes untied - raised his handgun.

“I’ll shoot you!” He said. Neferpitou had no doubt that was true. The man began to pull the trigger.

Neferpitou did nothing. Instinctively, they knew they should have used _Nen,_ moved to block, have done _something._ But Neferpitou… did nothing, except close their eyes.

_Pop. Pop, pop, pop. Pop, pop pop. Pop, pop._

Neferpitou opened their eyes. Looking down, they found nine new holes in their clothes, on their chest. There was a small pain, muted and distant, but no blood.

So they _were_ natively bulletproof, at least to small arms. That was interesting, though Neferpitou realized… it wasn’t the outcome they’d hoped for. It was not what they were expecting or wishing to happen, subconsciously. They looked up, and the men were horrified that Neferpitou was still standing, seemingly unfazed by an entire handgun magazine’s worth of 9mm bullets to their center of mass at point-blank range.

Neferpitou slowly blinked. The men wouldn’t do at all, not for Neferpitou’s dawning realization that in a way, they wished to have died just like that; the men were insufficient to the task. Thus, Neferpitou turned and walked away, and the men did not follow them. Later, on the news the next morning, there was a report of excessive gunfire in their neighborhood, but the men weren’t caught for it.

Neferpitou never talked about what happened that night with Komugi. They realized that they _couldn’t_ talk about it with Komugi. How could Neferpitou stress that Komugi had to keep on living, that her life was worth something, when they didn’t believe that was true for themselves?

So they pretended like it never happened. In retrospect, it was a foolish thing to do.

~*~

Neferpitou might have been bulletproof, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

The next few days, they dealt with pain as they walked around. It was not excruciating pain, but it was there. They checked themselves before showering and found that they had nine indentations in their skin, almost coin-shaped. None of the bullets had stuck or penetrated very far; it almost looked like someone who tanned with coins on top of their body, more so than injuries.

But they later bruised slightly, and their skin was tender for the rest of the week.

Neferpitou said nothing. Soon, they healed, and the bullets didn’t even leave a mark. It was almost disappointing, in a way. The evidence was gone, and now no one who mattered would ever know that it happened. They almost kind of wished there _was_ a scar, just so that…

So that if they told someone, they would believe Neferpitou, that it happened.

Komugi noticed that Neferpitou was melancholy. She was getting good at reading Neferpitou, and they were silently just a _touch_ annoyed by that.

“Jenny,” Komugi began, looking up from her work. She had been practicing grammar in Braille today, and Neferpitou was reading a book about educating children with disabilities and how to accommodate them better. “Why don’t you go out into the mountains and practice with _Nen?”_

Neferpitou looked up from their book and blinked slowly, processing.

“Do you… think that I need practice with _Nen?”_ Neferpitou asked, utterly incredulous. They knew that Komugi had _no idea_ how powerful Neferpitou was, in practice, but it was still a funny question to them.

“No!” Komugi quickly said, furrowing her brows in annoyance. “I just… feel like you’d enjoy it. You always seem restless when we sit in the parks…”

_Ah, so she has noticed._

Neferpitou gently closed their book and smiled. It wasn’t an awful suggestion, and out in the forested mountains, there was plenty of life but few humans. They could practice _En_ and basic combat techniques, just to keep those skills sharpened. After all, if someone _did_ come for the two of them, Neferpitou needed to be prepared to fight to the death, and Netero had demonstrated that a human _could_ theoretically challenge them in combat.

Neferpitou also had little to no formal combat technique, relying instead on _raw_ power and speed. Refining their technique with practical combat styles could be useful, and make the difference against an opponent who was objectively weaker but otherwise more skilled.

“Okay, Kayla,” Neferpitou said, still smiling. “I’ll think about that. What would you do, while I’m gone?”

“Well… I was probably going to listen to the television and practice writing. I have an idea for a new board game!” Komugi said, and she smiled brightly. Neferpitou huffed air, not quite a laugh, at that.

“That’s wonderful, I had… I had no idea, when did you come up with that?” Neferpitou asked.

“The other day, when we went to the tropical gardens again. The birds inspired me.”

Well that was interesting. Neferpitou realized that they shouldn’t be that surprised, given Komugi’s love of Gungi, that board games in general might fascinate her. Perhaps she would come up with something totally different, what with her _Nen_ and propensity for strategy. Neferpitou began to plan for what they would need to do to leave Komugi alone for most of the day - making food preemptively, getting Komugi her slate, stylus, and card-stock paper, etc. - and was so focused on the task, they almost forgot about the food they had on the stove.

The fire alarm reminded them, however.

~*~

Neferpitou took a deep breath, sitting on a rock in a valley at sunset in September of 2001.

They had jumped gracefully around at supersonic speeds, looking for a good place to sit, before they found the rock. It was in a small clearing, and covered in moss. Neferpitou sat cross-legged on it, just like they used to sit on top of the palace of East Gorteau, and just… listened.

They forced their _En_ out to as far as it would go, and listened. The presence of their _En_ scared some animals at first, but Neferpitou noticed right away that their _En_ was… different. Where before, it had been an amorphous blob with tentacle-like outcroppings of _Nen_ that went for more than two kilometers, now it was almost starburst-shaped. It still went out _very_ far, with an average distance still of about two kilometers.

But it was _different,_ and Neferpitou found that curious. They noticed that eventually, some animals dared to venture back into the _En,_ though they wouldn’t stay in it for very long. They were more attuned to the metaphysical feeling of _Nen_ than the average human, though they likely didn’t experience it the same way, and could only feel it, not see it. But Neferpitou’s only conclusion to draw from this was that their _Nen_ was less inhumanly frightening than it had been, before.

Checking briefly with _Gyo,_ they noted that their _En_ was also still crimson, but… softer. Less like a constant blood-like color of death and malice, and more like a flower or fruit. It definitely wasn’t human _Nen,_ and even a novice _Nen_ user would be able to tell, but it was no longer inherently monstrous-looking, either.

Neferpitou wondered about that. They brought a notebook along, as well as a few books, and made notes about the changes they noticed in their own aura. The books they brought were all on practical hand-to-hand combat, borrowed from the library, since Neferpitou knew they would have to self-teach. After Neferpitou was satisfied as to the current state of their _En,_ they released the effect and switched to _Ten._

Then, they began to practice.

 _Punch, kick, punch, kick, roll, twist, punch, duck, chop._ Their chop brought down a younger tree by mistake, as they lost themselves into the trance of training. Neferpitou never had any particular _need_ to train, when serving the King, but it came naturally to them as an instinct-driven combatant. Experimentally, they tested focusing their _Nen_ into their fist and punching the nearest cliff-face, and were able to shatter the stone there like glass.

Neferpitou’s power was still overwhelming, even if the forms it took were shifting around them. They made note of that too, and wondered what to make of it.

There were other things, they noticed. Their Puppeteering _Hatsu_ seemed to be functional, as they tested it on a small lizard they caught and killed. However, Neferpitou noted that it no longer worked on a deer that they caught and killed in the same manner. They began to theorize that the change in their abilities had to do with empathy; they related to the deer more than the lizard, and so they were no longer able to puppeteer the deer.

Neferpitou consequently wrote down in their notebook that they likely could no longer puppeteer humans, though they were unwilling to kill someone to test that. It was the theory they would go with for the future, though they also did not foresee themselves having to puppeteer much of anything - or at least, they hoped that would be the case.

Terpsichora, their experimental combat _Hatsu_ they developed in the case of them facing death, also appeared to work. Its effect wasn’t very strong, without Neferpitou _actually_ being in a life-or-death situation, but it still left them gasping for breath and hunched on the ground after testing. Puppeteering themselves, in effect, and _forcing_ their body to go beyond its inherent limitations, was painful and unpleasant.

But, it still worked. So they wrote that down, and hoped they wouldn’t have to use that in a real scenario.

They summoned Doctor Blythe experimentally, and saw that it appeared to be unchanged for now. They had nothing to test it on, so they banished it. But that was also good to know, and Neferpitou’s medium-term plan of possibly going into medical work remained intact as long as Doctor Blythe was functional.

In the end, Neferpitou spent hours in the mountain, training and testing and sometimes even dancing. They didn’t feel happy, necessarily, but they did feel _free._ Free of the expectation to come across as normal, and free of the prying eyes of anyone else. They returned late that night, at four in the morning, feeling more awake than they had in weeks.

They decided to make a habit of visiting that rock in the valley in the mountains, and it became their way to get away periodically, and keep up their practice for fighting.

~*~

The holidays of 2001 were an interesting experience for Neferpitou and Komugi.

Komugi helpfully gave Neferpitou the rundown on typical winter holidays as they were in East Gorteau, but… the answer was that they didn’t really _do_ winter holidays. Gift-giving for the holidays was a common occurrence in countries like the United States of Saherta, but it was basically unheard of in East Gorteau, where most people lived in deep poverty. They had some customs related to _making_ gifts, but even those had fallen away as the military junta there became more repressive.

Neferpitou had gotten into the habit of knitting and sewing. It started out, really, because they had needed to make custom gloves for themselves. They had made do, previously, with simply wearing five-fingered gloves and stretching them over their hands, retracting their claws in the process to accommodate this. But that just looked silly and accentuated the inhumanness of their hands, if they did need to bring their hands out of their pockets in public.

So they learned knitting and sewing, so they could make themselves gloves with four fingers, in the appropriate size.

That winter, Neferpitou got Komugi a few things. They got her, firstly, a special digital typewriter meant to type in Braille on special thick paper. They also knit her a nice hat and mittens, as it was cold by that point in Jefferson. The last thing Neferpitou got, mostly for decorative purposes, was a beautiful Gungi set made of polished marble, which Komugi spent a long time running her fingers over to memorize the feeling of it.

Komugi was delighted with receiving anything, of course, and it made Neferpitou smile all the same to see her so happy. They even played a few games of Gungi on the new board - and Neferpitou _still_ couldn’t come close to beating Komugi, to their silent dismay - before it was set up on a shelf to serve as a decoration. Neferpitou did that at Komugi’s request; she didn’t want it to ever get damaged in use, and would only use it for special occasions.

To their surprise, Komugi got Neferpitou something. Specifically, she wrote them a poem, in Braille, describing the mannerisms that Neferpitou still had, the unique feeling of their presence, and how even though Neferpitou was so silent as they moved, Komugi had learned to hear them all the same. It was about how comforting those things were to Komugi, and how much she had come to love Neferpitou. It was grammatically rough, because Komugi was still learning, but it still brought Neferpitou to tears all the same.

They later got a picture frame, and framed it on the wall. That was when they bought a camera, and resolved to begin taking pictures with Komugi so they could put those on the wall, as well.

The two of them had _things_ now, and it always filled Komugi with joy. Neferpitou sat with her on the couch that afternoon, once they finished opening presents, and smiled. They had made both of them hot chocolate, and were sipping idly on their mug as Komugi experimented with her new typewriter. Hot chocolate, Neferpitou decided, was very alluring, but it didn’t agree with their stomach; that was fine, for occasional enjoyment, though.

Komugi was so excited, to have things. To have things, and to be able to call them _hers._ Neferpitou had brought her to the store and she had picked out the fluffiest pillows she thought felt soft, the soaps and candles she liked the smell of, and some audiobooks that sounded fun, alongside the equipment to play them. She would listen to the audiobooks before bed, or in the bath, and Neferpitou would turn them off if she fell asleep listening.

Neferpitou smiled, to themselves, as they held their mug to their lips. Komugi was excited, to have things, and… to have a home, Neferpitou suspected. Neferpitou was Komugi’s home now, and her last anchor to normalcy in her life. They decided they were proud, as they sipped their drink, to be Komugi’s home.

But they wondered why they didn’t feel like _they_ were home, and how they could reconcile that feeling.

The next week brought a new year, and Neferpitou prepared, as they entered 2002, to finally send Komugi to formal school that autumn. The task seemed daunting, and they only had a few more months to prepare Komugi and get her up to an appropriate reading and writing level for a teenage girl.

But Neferpitou was determined to succeed, and help Komugi; it was what they lived for, now, if nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from 'Quarterlife' by 'Sienna Skies.'
> 
> Jefferson is something I made up for this story, and I guess it's technically a mish-mash of New Orleans and Atlanta. Yorknew City has little to nothing to do with the real life New York City, and likewise Jefferson has little to do with New Orleans or Atlanta, either. The United States of Saherta isn't in the same position relative to the equator versus the real life USA though, so Jefferson doesn't have the same climate as say, New Orleans.
> 
> I allude to the events of the manga, post-anime, in this chapter. Pretty much none of that will amount to much in this story, I think, except for two specific details that will come up later. So if you haven't read the manga, don't worry, you won't be lost. The stuff that's relevant, I'll bring up.
> 
> Komugi starting the story out at fourteen was an executive decision I made. She doesn't seem to have a canonically stated age, but she doesn't really act or look like an adult in my opinion. She seems to be more in line with Gon and Killua's age, though I suspect she's a touch older than them. The only reason I even hesitated on this point is because there's a line about how she invented the special move she uses against the King 'ten years ago,' which implies she's either older than she really appears to be, or was playing in Gungi tournaments from an unrealistically young age. I decided to just pretend like that line was slightly exaggerating, for my purposes here.
> 
> My theory that Neferpitou is natively bulletproof is because they are able to (literally) face-tank the King's attack. Regular Chimera Ants don't appear to be bulletproof without Nen, but we also see them being shot by AK-47s, which fire large-caliber rounds. I suspect Neferpitou wouldn't give a shit about handgun rounds - much to their dismay, in this story.
> 
> Thank you for reading. This beginning part is deliberately a bit slow, as I wanted to set up the character moments for when Gon and Killua come back into the plot. I hope that is tolerable.


	4. Redemption Doesn’t x Always x Come Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Komugi flourishes, Neferpitou drowns. They wonder if anything they do could ever make a difference.

It was April of 2002, when Neferpitou realized they were wholly unprepared for Komugi to go to school that fall.

Ironically, Komugi seemed fairly prepared, all things considered. Neferpitou wasn’t a wizard of teaching by any means, by that point, but Komugi was actually reasonably smart. Years of Gungi playing and strategic thinking meant that she sort of had to be fairly sharp, and it was always merely a matter of her never having had a chance to actually learn. That frustrated Neferpitou sometimes, in a deep way that they didn’t quite have words for, but they said nothing.

Komugi was happy, currently laying on the couch with her head on Neferpitou’s thighs and listening to Neferpitou hum absently, with soft music playing in the background on their stereo. Neferpitou was sitting sideways on the couch, with their feet under themselves, and methodically and mechanically running a brush through Komugi’s white hair. It was shorter now, than it used to be - she ended up getting that haircut after all, and Neferpitou had her maintain that length - but still long enough to need maintenance.

Neferpitou was idly brushing her hair and thinking to themselves: _one day, she won’t need me to do this anymore._

_This person is important to someone important to me._

The words spoken so long ago, now came sharp and quick through Neferpitou’s already overactive mind, and they stilled briefly. Komugi made a confused noise, already halfway asleep, and that jarred Neferpitou enough that they continued. But Neferpitou’s mind was in overdrive, thinking about the implications of what had just crossed their mind.

They brought Komugi to her physical therapy appointments, and she was going to start psychological therapy in a few weeks. They were now evaluating the merits of getting a permanent house and car, in preparation for Komugi to go to school. They had picked out a school that specialized in working with children with disabilities, and had a good reputation for such. Komugi had told Neferpitou just the other day that she was feeling happier, in the general sense, for the first time in months, and she was due for a psychiatric evaluation to see if she needed any medication for depression or anxiety.

Their life, together, was coming along nicely. But Neferpitou realized that they were _terrified._

They were terrified… of being alone, and maybe more importantly, of being aimless.

Mentally, they amended the statement, as Komugi sat up. Komugi adopted a position similar to Neferpitou’s, so that Neferpitou could brush the rest of her hair. Komugi did not seem to notice the change in them, or how their mind was racing, but Neferpitou continued their task entirely on instinct.

_This person is important to me._

They knew, on some level, that Komugi loved them. They were the most important familial/parental figure she had ever had, Neferpitou knew. But Neferpitou realized, like all parents, or older siblings who had to pretend to be parents, that Komugi would grow up one day. One day _soon,_ no less, and she would eventually leave.

Neferpitou had other plans for her. They wanted to evaluate the possibility of getting her a trained assistance dog for getting around, and they wanted to make sure that she understood how not to get walked over by potential new friends, and the implications of safe versus unsafe sex. It was strange, in a way; realistically, Neferpitou was in a position where they would try to teach Komugi things they had never actually experienced, and probably never would.

They didn’t have friends. They didn’t have intimate partners. They didn’t… have a life.

Their life was Komugi, and one day, she would move on, and grow past the constant need for Neferpitou, like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon.

But where would that leave Neferpitou?

They did not find an answer to that question, as they brushed Komugi’s hair… but at least her hair looked nice.

~*~

Many things happened in the summer of 2002.

The first thing was that they did finally buy a house. If the process of picking out an apartment and moving into it was exhausting, the process of picking out a house and moving into it was an order of magnitude _more_ exhausting. They were looking for a house that, theoretically, they might live in for the rest of their life - or at least, Neferpitou would, more so than Komugi. And there were so many options… though most were unappealing, or would require extensive modification and repair.

Eventually, Neferpitou simply settled on picking a house that would require _some_ modification and repair, and then arranged for contractors to perform the necessary work. They bought the house in June, but the work wasn’t finished until early August. Still, they ended up with a reasonably nice two bedroom, single-story home. The workers had given it new siding and roofing, it had new appliances and countertops in the kitchen, and Neferpitou made sure it had a ramp to get inside instead of a short staircase.

They suspected Komugi’s friends from the school, given that it specialized in disabilities, might need that.

Moving the furniture in was easier this time, since the house was in a place easier for the moving men to get in and out of. Once they left, Neferpitou carefully arranged the furniture so that it was as close as possible to the layout of their apartment - though the different shape of the home’s layout made that slightly futile. Then, Komugi began the somewhat exhaustive process of rememorizing the layout of her own living space.

Still, she had fun with it. She would dance around with Neferpitou, feeling out the edges and corners of the space around her in motion and content in the knowledge that they would protect her. Neferpitou had fun doing that as well, even if they still felt bad that she had to relearn at all.

Neferpitou also bought some more furniture, to accommodate the second bedroom. For the first time since leaving East Gorteau, they had their own dedicated sleeping space, and it was an unusual feeling. In some ways, it was comforting, as everyone liked a space to call their own. In other ways, it was awful; Neferpitou already felt terribly alone, during the hours they were awake and Komugi was not, and now they would be in a closed off space when they slept.

It took a long time, for them to consistently sleep in their own room, and not on the couch.

Other things were more positive, that summer. Komugi got a guide dog - a very kind, young female Labrador retriever named ‘Brave’ with dark brown fur - as the product of a relatively extensive process. Neferpitou was very fascinated, as they sat in on this process. The trainers brought Komugi various dogs to test their compatibility with her, in terms of temperament, and went through a lot of training on how to best utilize Brave as a guide, how to give her commands, and so forth.

It was a bit difficult at first, because Neferpitou made all the dogs act on edge when they first came into the room. They were too well-trained to bark or make a scene, but even the handlers noticed that the dogs _hated_ Neferpitou. However, the longer they spent there just sitting and listening, and not doing anything untoward, the more the dogs eventually got over their presence.

Neferpitou donated five million Jenny to the dog trainers, once things were settled, and was glad they took a chance on it.

Komugi brought Brave home in late July, around the time that their house was finally all put together and they were moved in. Neferpitou was glad they could spend time putting boxes full of knick knacks and kitchen utensils away, as Komugi practiced allowing Brave to guide her around the home, as well.

It was nice… and it gave Neferpitou more time to knit, too. They knit more abstract, silly things; a little cat-shaped chew toy for Brave, made to look like themselves, and a little doggie coat for Brave to wear when it got cold out. They also knit, slowly but surely, a little doll of themselves, Menthuthuyoupi, and Shaiapouf, which they placed in a row on a shelf.

They couldn’t bring themselves to knit the King, yet… but they left a space for him to fit into, one day.

~*~

It was the end of August, and school was starting next week for Komugi.

Neferpitou was standing there, at their kitchen table, as Komugi stuck her tongue out and fiddled with her studying. Brave sat under the table, free of her little guide dog vest since they were home, and lying peacefully near Komugi’s feet. Neferpitou, for their part, was balancing a book in one hand, and quickly flipping through the pages as they read.

Today’s book was about a romantic tale of two young people who went on a fantastical adventure through the countryside. It was very… simple, as far as such things went, but endearing, and reading fiction helped Neferpitou understand what appealed to normal people, generally. Neferpitou ravenously read, basically all the time, since they and Komugi had settled down. They were probably on track to have read every single book in the local library - sometimes, they and Komugi would go down to study there, rather than at home, when they were feeling up to it - and Neferpitou had also taken to reading books online, as well.

They had phones now, they and Komugi both. To Neferpitou, that was important; it symbolized Komugi’s independence, and they made sure her phone had the ability to read off text and the like. For Neferpitou, on the other hand, most of what they did with their new phone was reading. Reading the news, reading books, or sometimes, just scrolling through social media feeds; it was all just a stimulation for Neferpitou’s mind, to keep them from getting bored - or worse, from getting restless.

“I finished!” Komugi cried out, throwing her hands up into the air theatrically for effect, and Neferpitou smiled and looked up from their book. “Check it out, Jenny!”

Neferpitou strode closer and tilted their head as they observed. Komugi was truly coming along as a student, and she was probably reasonably close to the appropriate reading and writing level for her age, now. She had decided on a whim that she wanted her birthday to be the day that she met the King: August 1st. Neferpitou was happy to indulge her, and they had what amounted to her ‘official’ sixteenth birthday party only a few weeks previously.

Neferpitou made chocolate cake, decorated with white frosting and topped with ‘Happy Birthday, Komugi’ and a little ‘1’ and ‘6’ candle. Komugi had cried, when Neferpitou told her what they’d written, and Neferpitou cried too.

At the very least, the cake had tasted good.

Neferpitou picked up their answer key and accepted Komugi’s work, as she held it out towards them. Then they compared, quickly scanning through the work. Today’s subject was grammar and spelling, and how to use abbreviations with Braille. Neferpitou slowly smiled as they read, and then gently set the papers down on the table.

“You’ve done wonderfully, Kayla. I think you’re ready, to… to go,” they said, hesitating at the end. Komugi smiled, but it was a little forced.

Neferpitou had not said anything, about being sad that Komugi would be going to school regularly, and they would be stuck at home. But she knew, of course, that they were sad, and she gently put her hand out and rested it on top of their hand.

“Maybe you should consider finding a job, or a hobby that involves going outside. That sounds fun!” Komugi said. Neferpitou chuckled softly, and gently twisted their hand so they could squeeze Komugi’s hand.

“I’ll think about it, _nyah,”_ they said, indulging their impulse to be silly, and Komugi giggled.

They had seafood for dinner that evening; it was delicious… and Neferpitou did not burn the food, this time.

~*~

The first day that Komugi went to school was _exhausting_ for Neferpitou.

For starters, they had learned how to drive, that summer, and bought a simple two-door coupe, colored gray. Their home had a small garage, and the coupe fit nicely into said garage, since they had little in the way of tools or random junk in it like most humans seemed to.

As such, the day that Komugi had to go to school for the first time, Neferpitou drove her. The entire time, they tapped their left foot against the floorboard and their fingers against the steering wheel, silently going out of their mind. Komugi frowned - Neferpitou could see it, out of the corner of their eye - but said nothing. They were grateful for that; they didn’t want her to worry too much about them.

Neferpitou cried, when Komugi walked towards the building alone, Brave in toe on her left and her white cane under her right arm. Neferpitou had already gone in to do all the paperwork a few weeks previously, and so today was the day they would watch Komugi go in on her own. A teacher was waiting at the door, smiling and ready to greet Komugi with open arms.

They both stopped briefly to wave to Neferpitou, who was one of several parental figures dropping kids off for the first day of school that morning. Neferpitou smiled, and then drove themselves home in a _painfully_ silent car.

Then they cried, alone, on the couch, for more than an hour. They weren’t even sure what they were upset about; was it the loneliness, or the fear of letting go? All they knew was that they felt like their soul was being crushed, and so, they cried.

Eventually, they forced themselves to get up. Sitting and feeling sorry for themselves wouldn’t do anyone any good, Neferpitou reckoned, as they moved quickly to do the day’s chores. With Komugi not there to study or need some kind of activity for the day, Neferpitou could do all the things they usually put off doing. They did all the dishes and cleaned all the surfaces, they picked up all the furniture and did all the vacuuming and dusting, and they went outside and did all the lawn maintenance for their front lawn.

Their lawn was rather small, and rather plain, and idly, they wondered if they should plant a garden; first, they would have to learn how.

Neferpitou walked back inside not feeling particularly tired. They were, of course, a boundless well of energy and a desire to _go_ and _do,_ but even they were dismayed when they looked at the clock.

It was eleven in the morning. They had just dropped Komugi off at eight. Neferpitou groaned and collapsed onto the couch, and considered the merits of simply starving to death there.

Eventually, they got over feeling sorry for themselves. They were a Royal Guard! They could figure out something to do with their life when Komugi was at school. So they opened up their laptop and began looking into how employment worked, and what they would need. In their right hand, then idly played with a ball of yarn, tossing it up and down in the air.

Quickly, they determined that they were not going to realistically be able to get into the medical field. That required advanced degrees and training, would take years, and there was no way they could swing enrolling into higher education and doing all of that without someone bothering to ask why Neferpitou didn’t have a plausible backstory or personal history. It was too much scrutiny to bring to bear on themselves.

They _could_ get what humans called a GED, as a substitute for having a high school diploma. That only required passing some tests, which Neferpitou was fairly confident they could do easily. They were very smart, and had read more books than the average educated human on a wide variety of subjects, and the tests themselves were not seemingly very hard. As an experiment, they found some practice tests online, and indeed found that they were trivial for them.

A GED was only good for very menial, bland busywork. Neferpitou did not necessarily consider themselves ‘above’ such work, but there was also no real reason for them to do it. They were looking for a job for what amounted to personal fulfillment - to have something to do - not because they needed to work for money. As they idly browsed through articles, however, something caught their eye:

Hospitals employed cleaning staff, and that didn’t require any special training or education.

They squinted at the computer screen, thinking very hard as they tossed their ball up and down in the air. They could _secretly_ use Doctor Blythe on people in the hospital, while working as a janitor. Perhaps they could work overnight, and do it that way. They would have to test the limitations of Doctor Blythe, however. At the very least, Neferpitou was very good at cleaning and working quickly, so trying to juggle that much responsibility at work was theoretically feasible.

It seemed plausible, and so Neferpitou began to make plans; they severely underestimated the complexity of the task they were setting themselves up for, in retrospect.

~*~

The rest of 2002 was fairly uneventful, for Neferpitou.

They got their GED, fairly effortlessly. They spent a lot of time sitting with Komugi after school, carefully and painstakingly assisting with any questions she had about her homework. Her school was very supportive, and Komugi gushed about the new friends she was making.

Neferpitou smiled, seeing her so happy. Part of them, a tiny part they would never speak of aloud, was jealous, but they stuffed that down. Monsters like them couldn’t have friends; it was the cost of being what they were.

Komugi just about gave Neferpitou a heart attack in late October, when she asked if she could go trick-or-treating with her friends - without Neferpitou. But in the end, they relented, and helped make a simple costume for Komugi. In this case, they found a guide online for how to make a costume that looked like a traditional vampire, and Komugi went out wearing an old-timey suit and black cape, along with fake plastic fangs.

She went with Brave, and a small group of her friends, and Neferpitou waved nervously from the porch that evening as they watched the group leave. In the end, Komugi came back happy and safe after a few hours, with a bucket full of candy and a smile on her face. Neferpitou breathed a sigh of relief, of course, as Komugi excitedly regaled them with tales of her adventure…

But part of them also was relieved, at seeing Komugi take her steps out into the world without them.

It was at the winter holidays that Komugi invited some friends over for a party, without actually asking Neferpitou first. Once they got over their absolute panic and slight internal spiral, they had agreed that such a thing would be fun, and promptly went into overdrive trying to plan for food and decorations. They had not planned to decorate for the holidays - they never had before, since Komugi couldn’t see, and Neferpitou had no interest in them - and they had also never made specialty holiday food.

In the end, they made _way too much_ food, since only three people came over. But the teenage friends of Komugi were very kind, and addressed Neferpitou fondly as ‘Jenny, Kayla’s older sister.’

The first of them was named George, and he was deaf. He was very sweet, and once Neferpitou determined that he was using sign language to communicate, they quickly downloaded a book on how to speak in sign language and read it so they could understand. It was… difficult, they quickly realized, because they did not have five fingers.

George quickly noticed this fact, and signed that it was okay if Neferpitou had difficulty at first. Neferpitou, for their part, sheepishly informed him that their fingers were ‘a birth defect,’ and was overwhelmingly glad that he didn’t question their explanation at all.

The second friend was named Katie, and she walked with a cane. Neferpitou did not pry and ask why that was, but Katie was very nice in her introduction and shook Neferpitou’s hand without prompting. Katie seemed quieter, and more reserved, than George, but she accepted food graciously and took a seat next to Komugi on the couch, so that they could gossip together.

The third, and last, friend, was named Mateo. He came in a wheelchair, and Neferpitou internally celebrated that they had the foresight to have a ramp installed on the house; it had been helpful for Katie too, to their relief. Mateo was quite forward and outgoing, the most of the group, and Neferpitou raised an eyebrow when they saw that Komugi and Mateo seemed to be blushing at each other half the night.

They did not comment on this to Komugi, though they filed that information away for future reference.

Neferpitou had gotten simple gifts for the kids, after looking up the common practice of ‘stocking stuffers.’ Most of it was candy or the type of thing one could put on a desk for decoration, and the kids accepted them happily. For Komugi, Neferpitou knit her a new scarf, colored in a similar green to the King. They did not tell Komugi that until her friends had left, but she loved the scarf either way.

Their first holidays with outside people managed to not be a disaster, and Neferpitou was very happy. More than anything, however, they were happy to see that Komugi was making friends.

~*~

It was in January of 2003, that Neferpitou was finally able to apply for and get a position as a hospital janitor, working overnight.

They asked surprisingly little questions about Neferpitou’s complete lack of a work history or educational background, and Neferpitou stuck to their story about ‘Jennifer and Kayla Phillips, the sisters who escaped an abusive home.’ Part of them felt bad, like they were being manipulative, but… they were planning to help people, so they hoped that would balance out.

For the first few weeks, Neferpitou simply performed their job as intended and followed the training they were given. They carefully noted where security cameras were in the hospital, and who was there during the overnight shift. They also figured out which sections of the hospital were where, and what types of patients were housed in each ward.

It turned out, there were a fair number of janitors there overnight - more than a handful for any given shift, at any rate - but not so many that they couldn’t work around it. 

After about six weeks of working overnight shifts, Neferpitou decided to try their luck. They made their way to the ward for people with traumatic injuries, carefully stalking through the darkened hallways to stay out of the cameras’ fields of vision. The patient they chose was a young boy; his little chart at the end of his bed said his name was ‘Thomas,’ and that he had been in a car accident.

Neferpitou stood there for a moment, regarding the boy carefully. They reflected on how, only a few years ago, they would not have even considered young Thomas’ life to have any value at all, car accident or not. Now, standing at the edge of his bed, they were probably the only way he would live to see the age of ten. They had overheard doctors talking, and Thomas’ outlook was poor; they weren’t even willing to attempt surgery on him, in his current state.

So, Neferpitou summoned Doctor Blythe, and carefully removed the blanket on Thomas. He did not stir, with the IV in his arm that kept him unconscious, and the oxygen mask already on his mouth. Doctor Blythe went to work, and Neferpitou began carefully sweeping and cleaning Thomas’ room as it did so.

They learned several things as Doctor Blythe worked. Firstly, they needed to actually _understand_ the target’s wounds, for Doctor Blythe to begin. Neferpitou had tried a few nights previously, before they overheard doctors specifying what was wrong with Thomas, and could not get Doctor Blythe to begin working on Thomas. They had been unwilling to remove his bandages to check his injuries themselves, but a verbal description had been sufficient.

They also studied Doctor Blythe, visually, and determined that it seemed to use _Nen_ to put the target in a trance if they were not already unconscious; if they were already unconscious, they wouldn’t wake up, and Doctor Blythe did not inflict any pain. It was a purely _Nen_ construct, and normal humans couldn’t see it. It also made Neferpitou’s tail invisible to normal humans as it worked, so they could freely move around the room without worry.

They were wearing hospital scrubs as they cleaned. Another janitor walked by as they cleaned, and Neferpitou looked up and nodded calmly. To the other janitor, nothing appeared to be amiss whatsoever, and Neferpitou smiled to themselves after the fact. 

There were other issues, however. Doctor Blythe did not work particularly quickly, though Neferpitou theorized that like any other talent or skill, it could be improved in speed as they practiced with it. Doctor Blythe worked on Thomas for an hour and fifteen minutes, though Neferpitou was done cleaning after twenty minutes. They carefully walked to the side and hid out of the line of sight of the doorway for the rest of the time, silent and undetectable to normal humans.

When Doctor Blythe was finished, Thomas looked visibly healthier, and there was no physical evidence of Neferpitou’s interference. Doctor Blythe even carefully stitched the fabric it had cut through back together, using _Nen_ threading, so the damage would be undetectable. Neferpitou was very impressed with that, but it was something they had learned they had no control over; Doctor Blythe would not repair clothing alone, and only seemed to do so as a side effect of not leaving any trace of its work.

In the end, Neferpitou left Thomas’ room and quickly and calmly finished the rest of their tasks. They were fast enough, thanks to inhuman reflexes and movement speed, that even the long period of time they spent idle had little effect on their work. Their coworkers did notice that they didn’t take lunch, but then, Neferpitou didn’t need to eat during work anyway.

Neferpitou went home from work that morning content, feeling like they had accomplished something.

~*~

They did not think things through.

When Neferpitou woke up that day - having slept a few hours in the early morning, their blinds drawn shut - they checked the news only to find that work was on the news. Specifically, there was a media circus at the hospital, as the media freaked out about ‘Thomas, the boy who was healed by a miracle.’ Neferpitou had not really considered that people would notice the inexplicable healing that had occurred, or how they might react to it, if they did.

When they went back to work, there were security guards overnight, silently patrolling down the halls. Neferpitou said nothing, and simply cleaned as was typical. They did, however, discreetly test some other things.

They found that Doctor Blythe did not work on more ‘esoteric’ illnesses, such as viral infections. It was able to heal physical damage, but it couldn’t pull microscopic things out of someone. They wondered if such a thing were _possible,_ but decided it would require more experimentation than was reasonable.

They also determined that it was probably unwise to try and use Doctor Blythe on things like cancer. It was one thing to use Doctor Blythe to put something back together, but it was another thing to take something apart, remove something, and reconfigure it. Neferpitou had experience doing that - unfortunately - but that very experience made them decide against such an idea. They also weren’t actually sure that Doctor Blythe had a one hundred percent chance of success, _Nen_ or not, and weren’t willing to risk it.

The last thing they tested involved going to the morgue, during what would have been their lunch break. They cleaned, of course, in case anyone came to check - not that they did - but what they were there to test was Puppeteer. Once Neferpitou was satisfied with their cleaning, they gently pulled a random body out of storage.

They leaned over and looked close at the little yellow tag on the man’s toe. His name was Joseph, and he had been fifty-six, and he died of a heart attack. Neferpitou frowned and straightened, appraising the body. He was dead now, dead and gone, but he had been alive, and they weren’t sure about the ethics of what they wanted to do.

They thought of Kite, and how they used to think so little of playing with the lives and bodies of others. Neferpitou was not a religious person, though they had read about religion. All the same, they gently clasped their hands together, hanging loosely in front of their hips, and bowed their head in silence for a moment.

_I’m sorry, Joseph._

Then they attempted to use their _Hatsu_ on him. It did not work.

They weren’t sure if they wanted to frown or smile at that. Part of them, however, was definitively relieved that they could no longer use their Puppeteering on a human. They gently pushed the table back into the wall and shut the steel door, and then they tossed their old gloves, washed their hands, and got new gloves.

After that night, the hospital seemed to conclude that whatever happened would remain unexplained, and gave up on extra security. As such, Neferpitou fell into a routine: they would spend most shifts cleaning normally, and simply doing their job as efficiently as possible. Once or twice a week, however, they would choose patients with obvious, easily-diagnosable physical trauma, and use Doctor Blythe on them. 

In the beginning, they could usually only get one or two patients a night. Often, they were in car crashes. Sometimes, they were burn victims, or had fallen off of something. Neferpitou was accustomed, for the most part, to the violence and state of their bodies, and it did not affect them. Soon, they noticed that Doctor Blythe was getting faster and more crisp in its work. After a few months, they were able to get five to six patients a night, much to their delight.

They also noticed that Doctor Blythe was slowly changing in appearance. Where before it appeared to be a monstrous woman, wearing a nurse outfit, slowly but surely it began to change to look like Neferpitou themselves. Well, more specifically, a rather exaggerated, cartoonish version of themselves, but still. It still had the nurse costume, but it was getting less and less monstrous every time they used it.

Silently, to themselves, Neferpitou began to refer to it as ‘Doctor Pitou’ instead. It seemed more fitting, that way.

~*~

Neferpitou was always surprised by how time passed them by.

They were very caught up in routine, by that point. They made sure Komugi always had food - whether it was breakfast in the morning and dinner in the evening, or lunch to bring to school - and that she always had help with her homework. Komugi slowly got more into the habit of going out alone, along with her friends, and sometimes she even spent the night over at her friends’ homes.

The first time she did, it gave Neferpitou _immense_ anxiety. Eventually, they came to accept it, as long as Komugi kept texting them. Komugi, for her part, was very good about communicating with Neferpitou, so at least in that respect, things were going well.

Neferpitou had the lingering suspicion that Komugi and Mateo were in some way romantically involved. They did not pry, as to the nature of the relationship, but they did make it clear to Komugi that if she needed or wanted to talk, that Neferpitou would be there. Komugi spoke fondly of Mateo, and through her, Neferpitou learned that he was hoping to become an art student.

“What does he like to draw, Kayla?” Neferpitou said absently one Saturday afternoon, in May. 

They were standing at the kitchen sink, cutting vegetables. Komugi was sitting at the kitchen table, typing on her digital typewriter.

“Oh, he loves to draw fantastical creatures! He drew me a picture of me, as a princess! Do you want to see?” Komugi said, and she lifted her head to beam at Neferpitou with closed eyes.

“I certainly would,” Neferpitou said encouragingly, and they waited patiently for a moment until their phone _dinged_ in their pants pocket.

They set their knife down and wiped their hands off, and then took out their phone. Absentmindedly, they moved to their texting app, and looked carefully at what Komugi had sent. It was a picture, certainly, and Neferpitou’s smile grew, as they looked at it.

It was _beautiful._ Mateo was very talented, and Komugi had undersold it with ‘drawing.’ It was a painting, actually, of what definitely looked like Komugi. Her white hair - currently in a pixie cut, at her request, in reality - was long and flowing, and she was sitting in a meadow of beautiful crimson flowers. She wore a white dress, and she had her silver eyes open as she gently pet a dog. The dog was unmistakably Brave, and she was looking back at Komugi happily and wagging her tail in the painting.

“This is _remarkable,”_ Neferpitou said quietly, and she looked up to find Komugi looking very unusual. They might’ve said she was apprehensive, but she let out whatever breath she’d been holding and smiled suddenly. Neferpitou raised an eyebrow and realized that she had been waiting for their approval. “It’s very fine art. Do you have the original?”

Komugi shook her head.

“I, uh… it’s big, apparently? He had it framed and everything for me, but it’s in the studio his parents made for him, waiting for when I have a place to put it,” she said, in a tone sort of like Neferpitou had just caught her trying to dye her hair rainbow and she felt embarrassed about it.

Neferpitou slowly looked around their home, feeling rather confused.

“I could make space on the walls, if that’s the issue…” They said, not really understanding. Komugi gently touched her index fingers together and smiled as she looked down.

“It’s… going to go up on my wall, when I have my own home,” she said quietly, and Neferpitou blinked once, slowly, before reality clicked for them.

She meant that she hoped, one day, to live with Mateo, and put the painting on _their_ wall then. Neferpitou smiled, slightly conspiratorially, but didn’t say anything. They wouldn’t tease Komugi about that, and they were glad that she was having fun. Besides, Neferpitou had to give the boy credit; it really was a remarkable piece of art, to give to the girl he liked in high school.

Neferpitou made it her phone’s background. And then, her phone rang, to her confusion.

“Er… hello?” Neferpitou said, holding the phone to their head.

_“Good afternoon, Miss Phillips. This is Superintendent Ross, from Jefferson South General Hospital.”_

Neferpitou cleared their throat awkwardly and adjusted the phone to hear better. Ross was, in effect, the one responsible for cleaning and logistical staff at the hospital, and they had never even seen him in person.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Ross. How may I… help you, today?” Neferpitou replied, after a slightly longer than intended pause.

 _“We have special guests at the hospital for the next week, investigating the strange events that have been happening overnight these past few months.”_ Ross did not sound very happy about that. _“I am calling all overnight staff personally, to inform you to be on your best behavior.”_

“Oh… I see. I will do my best, sir,” Neferpitou said, feeling slightly nervous. They were so _sure_ that none of the cameras had caught them, but now they were rather concerned.

_“I’m sure you will. My supervisor reports indicate you are an exemplary employee. Thank you for the work you do, and have a good day.”_

“Yes sir, thank you.” 

He hung up, and Neferpitou slowly brought the phone forward to look at the screen, which was now just their home screen with a few app folders along the top. The beautiful painted image of Princess Komugi was now there, and it made a feeling of pure dread sit in the bottom of Neferpitou’s stomach now.

They looked over to Komugi, who had an expression of patience on her face.

“Something about work, Sister?” Komugi said with a small smile, and Neferpitou chuckled awkwardly.

“I may… have gotten them in trouble,” Neferpitou admitted. They had never actually told Komugi what they had been doing, and now they felt bad about that.

Komugi, however, being the angel that she was, just smiled more brightly.

“I’m sure you meant well, Sir Pitou,” she whispered playfully. Neferpitou pretended to scowl at her, but then they couldn’t help but smile too.

They had meant well… but motivations didn’t change the reality of actions.

~*~

Neferpitou didn’t have to go back to work until Sunday night.

When they did, they immediately noticed that things were off. The media was there, of course, trying to interview overnight employees as they walked in. Neferpitou had taken to wearing a medical mask and nurse cap at all times when at work, along with their green scrubs and gloves. As such, they simply strode past the press and paid them no mind, and the press were not allowed to physically stop them for questioning.

Part of Neferpitou felt bad about that. To the press, it seemed like there was a miracle happening at the hospital - people somehow miraculously being healed overnight - and Neferpitou couldn’t tell the truth and help them understand. Still, that was for the best, Neferpitou decided--

There were men in the lobby, three of them, at least 185cm tall and 100kg each, armed with handguns and with obvious _Nen_ aura. Neferpitou immediately switched to _Zetsu_ and darted down the nearest side hallway, silent as a ghost. Even still, the sudden hole in _Nen_ must have alerted the men, as there was shouting behind them.

Neferpitou had gotten complacent. Once they had determined there didn’t appear to be anyone with meaningful aura in their day-to-day life, they had slowly switched back to using _Ten._ Most normal humans were no longer off-put by their presence, and their aura was no longer inherently frightening - it seemed, anyway - to human detection ranges. Animals often still were alarmed by them, but not people.

Practicing with _Ten_ was important, and they hadn’t even considered what they’d do if they walked right into people with _Nen._ It had been so long since they’d been in close proximity to someone with _Nen_ that wasn’t Komugi that they weren’t used to it anymore.

Neferpitou was very quick - _very_ quick - and promptly took a winding, roundabout way through the hospital. Since they were an employee and wearing scrubs, nobody paid them any mind despite their quick pace, and they made it to the fifth floor before they stepped into the women’s restroom. They were still maintaining _Zetsu,_ and they calmly walked into a stall and hid there for about ten minutes.

Neferpitou was panicking, trying to control their breathing as they stared blankly at the toilet of the stall. They had ruined everything with their carelessness, because they had gotten complacent. Of course they should’ve expected someone would come for them; they were one of the most lethal things in the known world, and an internationally wanted criminal, classified as a terrorist by the United Nations.

But then, Neferpitou considered, maybe the men didn’t know it was Neferpitou specifically. Healing _Hatsus_ were not common, but they weren’t _unique,_ either. There were other people who had them, and it was possible that the men had simply come looking for any _Nen_ user. They were likely Hunters, sent on behalf of the Association to investigate, but Neferpitou didn’t know how much they actually knew.

After all, the details of the Chimera Ant coup d'état of East Gorteau were largely classified, and even most Hunters probably didn’t know the full story.

Neferpitou carefully left the bathroom stall and washed their hands. Then they slowly walked towards the door of the bathroom.

When they opened it - it opened inwards, towards them - there was a man standing right there, wearing a black three-piece suit, an obvious earpiece, and with sunglasses stuffed in his breast pocket.

“Hello,” he said, and Neferpitou forced themselves not to instinctively slice him in half in their surprise. “Are you one of the overnight staff?”

Neferpitou slowly nodded, and the man stepped aside so that they could step all the way out of the bathroom. 

“Well, ma’am--”

Neferpitou grunted to cut him off.

“They,” Neferpitou said absently, not comfortable with the man and internally freaking out enough that they felt bold enough to correct him. The man looked at them for a moment, and then recognition crossed his face.

“My apologies. My name is Bill, and I am a professional Hunter.” Neferpitou nodded, inviting him to continue. “I’m here along with a small team to investigate the strange things happenin’ in this hospital. Would you have some time to discuss that with me?”

Neferpitou cleared their throat awkwardly. They wanted to say ‘no, I do not have time,’ but they knew that they were expected to cooperate. So instead, they nodded mechanically, and Bill the Hunter motioned with his arm for Neferpitou to lead the way down the hall. Bill had spikey, rather wild blonde hair, and a dour face with creases under his eyes. But he seemed nice, and his aura was not _overly_ strong.

Neferpitou could kill him in a heartbeat, if they had to. They did not want it to come to that, however.

Instead, they walked together down the hall towards a breakroom, and Neferpitou entered first, promptly taking a seat at the table. Bill calmly shut the door and walked around the table, and then he sat down in the chair across Neferpitou. He seemed to appraise them for a moment, though for what, they were unsure.

“Alright, so I’ll cut to the chase,” Bill said matter-of-factly. “I’m here with a team of professional Hunters and a Zodiac, and we believe that someone has been using unauthorized methods to perform medical procedures on people at this hospital during the overnight shift. Do you know anything about that?”

Neferpitou slowly blinked. _Nen_ wasn’t common knowledge in human societies, they recalled from their reading. The only books they found on the subject discussed _Nen_ as a hypothetical concept; it was treated almost like a myth or religious idea, instead of something that actually, physically existed in the world. That was apparently the cover that _Nen_ users had accepted to keep their practice a secret.

They were unfamiliar with what a ‘Zodiac’ was, however.

“I do not, sir,” Neferpitou replied calmly after thinking about it for a moment. Bill leaned back in his seat and did not seem surprised by their answer.

“Gotcha. No problem, just a routine thing. One moment,” Bill began, and then he brought up fingers to tap at his earpiece. “This is Bill to Team Boar. I’m interviewing a member of the overnight staff on floor five.”

Neferpitou heard the reply on the earpiece with their inhumanly sharp senses.

_“This is Boar, I’ll be right over. I think you’ve got the one we were interested in.”_

Neferpitou frowned, though the expression was hidden by their medical mask. Bill turned his attention to them, and it also seemed to dawn on him that he couldn’t really see their face at all.

“Would you mind removing your mask and cap?” Bill said, and Neferpitou made a dim, annoyed expression, hidden by said mask.

“I would mind,” they replied flatly, and Bill raised an eyebrow. He did not push the issue, however.

They waited in an uncomfortable, thick silence for several minutes. The room was fairly well lit, and so Neferpitou studied Bill as they sat together. Bill crossed his legs, so that his right ankle was over his left knee, and absently tapped out a beat on his leg as he waited. Neferpitou calmly clasped their hands in their lap, mindful of hiding that they only had four fingers on each hand. They were still in _Zetsu,_ so they could feel every detail of Bill’s aura.

It was… above average, by human standards, though it was a candle against an inferno compared to Neferpitou’s typical aura. He had no bloodlust to speak of, and his aura was calm, albeit defensive. He seemed to be defensive in general, however, not specifically towards Neferpitou. That reinforced their theory that they weren’t specifically looking for Neferpitou, but more generally a rogue _Nen_ user.

The door opened behind Neferpitou, and they did not even flinch. Bill raised an eyebrow, seemingly surprised at that. But Neferpitou had felt the approaching aura of another individual, and they slowly turned to regard the newcomer.

There were two. One was Doctor Greenfield, someone Neferpitou knew as one of the night shift doctors, but rarely spoke to. The other they did not recognize, though he had a palpable, stronger aura. It was stronger than Bill’s, and enough that if he decided to attack Neferpitou while they were in _Zetsu,_ they would be very concerned.

He had no bloodlust, however. He was quite tall - over 190cm at least, with long, gangly limbs - and he was wearing a black three-piece suit as well, which he filled out quite effectively. He had tall, spiky black hair and an angular face, though he had no facial hair to speak of. He did have deep brown eyes, and those eyes locked onto Neferpitou immediately.

“Hey there,” he said to Neferpitou, dipping his head in acknowledgement. “Thanks for having patience with us, I know Bill here can be a handful.”

“Hey!” Bill said indignantly, though when Neferpitou briefly flicked their eyes over, he had a lazy grin on his face.

“Doctor Paladiknight, this is Jennifer Phillips, one of our overnight cleaning staff,” Doctor Greenfield began with an even expression. “They do incredible work, and I’m sure they aren’t the one causing the issue you’re investigating.”

Neferpitou fought to keep their expression neutral. They were somewhat surprised that Doctor Greenfield was sticking up for them; then again, they were one of the hardest working overnight cleaners - given their inhuman advantage in speed and endurance - and maybe that was why. Doctor Paladiknight, for his part, raised a single long, black eyebrow, but did not immediately question Doctor Greenfield.

Doctor Greenfield was an older man, with bushy gray eyebrows and wild gray hair. He was short and on the portly side, but generally kind and well-regarded by staff and patients alike. He clasped his hands behind his back patiently, waiting for Doctor Paladiknight to make some kind of decision.

“I’m sure, Doctor Greenfield,” Doctor Paladiknight said, his tone only _slightly_ condescending - or perhaps, just skeptical. “Jennifer, how long have you worked here at this hospital?”

“Since January,” Neferpitou said neutrally, and Doctor Paladiknight hummed in acknowledgement. Then he squinted at them, just for a moment, and something like recognition crossed his face.

“You have… interesting eyes,” he said absently. Neferpitou blinked, and their gaze flicked to his left hand; he had a wedding ring on, and it was silver with a tiny red jewel. He followed their gaze and continued with a smile. “Don’t mind me, just musing. C’mon, Doctor Greenfield, Bill; we have other people to interview.”

Neferpitou sat in place and watched the three men file out. Bill offered them a kind wave as he followed in Doctor Paladiknight’s wake, and Neferpitou nodded once, curtly, in acknowledgement. Doctor Paladiknight’s tone when he commented on their eyes didn’t come across as flirtatious. 

It came across as cautious.

They strained to hear, to see if maybe he was making a phone call, but all they heard was the men retreating down the hall - followed by them calling the elevator. Left alone in the silent breakroom, Neferpitou brought up their hands and stared at them blankly, and wondered how close they were to ruining everything.

They would fight that, if it came to it. They wouldn’t allow anyone to take Komugi’s life away from her; not when she was so close to being able to have a life of her own, independently.

~*~

It was late June of 2003, when the past caught up to Neferpitou.

They were wearing a long-sleeved black turtleneck sweater and blue jeans, along with some sneakers. They also had their typical gloves on, though today they wouldn’t have to wear them all day.

Neferpitou had the day off, and Komugi was spending all day with her friends. Today was a special day, though it was not a happy day. Today was the 29th of June, and that meant it was the King’s birthday.

Or at least, so Neferpitou believed. They had not kept track of the precise date, back then, by human calendar standards. It wasn’t necessary, at the time. Still, they had a reasonably good idea of when the King had been born, and they were reasonably sure it was the 29th of June, 2000. 

For their part, Neferpitou treated May 28th as their birthday. They were fairly certain that was the day they had been born, anyway, in the year 2000. Neferpitou did not personally have any interest in celebrating or acknowledging their birthday, but Komugi insisted. This year, Komugi and her friends had made a cake for Neferpitou without their knowledge and thrown a little surprise party, and it was nice.

But on June 29th, Neferpitou did not celebrate. Instead, they mourned.

In years past, Komugi had joined them. They would find somewhere quiet to sit together, and just… hold hands, and think about what was lost. But this year, Komugi had admitted that she didn’t want to be sad on the 29th of June, and she wanted to look forward. Part of Neferpitou was a little bit upset at that idea… but part of them was _overjoyed,_ that Komugi felt comfortable moving on in that way.

And they had made it clear that if Komugi wanted to do something later, Neferpitou would be happy to do so with her.

Either way, Neferpitou was back to their favorite rock out in the mountains, in the valley hidden away from the world. They had a basket they were carrying, and it contained some simple candles and incense they planned to burn. They planned to just… sit, on the rock, and burn candles and incense, and think about things.

They would think about the life they once had, and the life they now had, and how they were grateful, in spite of it all.

Neferpitou reached their rock and sniffed the air. There was… someone nearby. Relatively speaking, anyway; they were probably several hundred meters away, but it was easy to detect people in the open space of nature. It was probably a hiker or outdoors enthusiast, and Neferpitou would pay them no mind.

They slowly took things out of their basket. They set up the candles and incense, and bowls to put them in so they would be stable. Then they lit them carefully with a simple butane lighter. For a moment, Neferpitou just watched the fire of the candles, and let themselves…

_Be._

It was a nice, calm June day. It was warm, though Neferpitou was comfortable despite their clothes being too heavy, thanks simply to how they were. There wasn’t even a breeze, which was good for their plans. Neferpitou began to walk around the rock, planning to take up their normal cross-legged sitting position--

Something was coming, something _fast._

Neferpitou turned, and then yelped in surprise when something hit them like a _missile,_ in a furious, crackling thunderstorm of sapphire lightning. They were lucky to have been in _Ten_ rather than _Zetsu,_ but the electrical shock still coursed through their body and froze them in place as they twitched and writhed in pain.

Once the lightning ran its course, Neferpitou was a bit woozy, not accustomed to being attacked any more. Their clothing was singed, and they slowly blinked as they regained their bearings.

When they looked up, there was a familiar looking young man, with his silver hair sticking up and wreathed in blue lightning. He had his hands in his pockets, but he looked… different, than their dim memory of him, from a life long past.

He looked _older._

“I finally found you,” he said in a flat, low voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, next chapter we're getting Killua Content (tm).
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, and if you're concerned about Leorio: don't worry, he'll be back. As you can see, Bill is here, and he's a character from the manga. There will be some brief discussion of the post-2011 anime arcs in the manga, and how the characters extracted themselves from that situation, as it were. But that won't come up until roughly chapter... eight.
> 
> There were two HxH fics that inspired important aspects of this story, that I want to shout out and recommend. The first is 'York Shin General Hospital' by 'arcaladiwoompa' and I think it is the biggest influence on this story. I always knew I wanted to write about Neferpitou and 'what if they had lived,' but that fic really inspired exactly how I wanted to go about doing that. If you want to read a wonderful Kurapika - and Leopika - centric fic in the canon setting, this is the fic for you.
> 
> The second fic I will credit when we get farther along, as otherwise I would be spoiling.
> 
> The next few chapters are going to center on Killua and Gon, and their relationship with each other and with Neferpitou. Thank you for reading!


	5. Good Siblings x And x Fated Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua finds Neferpitou… and hits them like a bolt from the blue.

He was _fast,_ but not too fast to detect.

Too fast to see clearly, certainly, as blue lightning ripped across the ground in his wake and ozone singed the air, but they could see his afterimage and general direction. They could sense him, though his smell was muted by the aforementioned ozone. Neferpitou got about a split second of warning, before the next hit came, but it was enough to use _Ken_ and _Ko_ to try and block.

The next hit came, low and from the right, and for the first time in ten minutes, Neferpitou successfully brought their right arm down and deflected the incoming kick. Lightning arced across their arm, and they winced… but a block was a block, and their aura blunted the electric shock this time.

The boy - Killua, they remembered his name vividly - went spinning away and landed in a crouch, lightning still sparking around him. His bloodlust was strong, but controlled; he wanted to kill them, but he was not intense or unstable in his desire. He was focused, measured, and devastatingly sharp - a human weapon molded to destroy.

Neferpitou’s only saving grace was that they hadn’t needed to be molded to destroy - they were _born_ to destroy. Even still, they were breathing hard, and their clothing was half-destroyed and smoking. None of Killua’s attacks had done real damage to them, yet, between their hardened exterior and _Nen,_ but they _hurt_ and Neferpitou was certainly tired. It wasn’t clear to them if Killua was holding back, and they weren’t sure what abilities he had besides lightning-enhanced speed.

“You aren’t fighting back,” Killua said calmly, and Neferpitou maintained their defensive stance, arms raised to protect their face and torso.

They did not immediately respond, so Killua straightened and stuffed his hands in his pockets once more. That seemed to be his preferred stance to feign detachment, though his focus and bloodlust remained as sharp as ever. He began to pace around them, his footfalls measured, and then… he began to create afterimages? If Neferpitou were human, they probably would’ve been baffled, but their ears twitched and their vision sharpened, and they could tell that the images were not really him.

They were having trouble picking out which one was real, but they also weren’t focused on visually identifying the threat anymore. He was too fast for that, so they relied on what they had learned from Komugi:

They _waited,_ and _listened,_ and _felt._

_“I’m stronger than Kite was, now. I trained hard, for the past few years. But your aura is still like wildfire, Neferpitou; it’s like being next to the sun, but it’s also different now.”_ His voice was strange, echoing slightly as he generated afterimages. Neferpitou closed their eyes and focused on the sensations around them. _“When Leorio told me he saw someone with those eyes - the red and gold iridescence, the glare that haunted my nightmares - I knew, I_ **_knew_ ** _it was you. He only remembered because I described it in such detail.”_

Neferpitou swallowed slowly, as the world fell away. The real him was to their left, slowly circling-- now he was on the right, he was _fast._

 _“So I came out to investigate why Neferpitou, the God of Death, was using their_ Hatsu _in a hospital in this random city in Saherta. Why were you helping people, Neferpitou? Can you tell me that?”_

Neferpitou grit their teeth, holding their defensive stance and _Nen._

“Because I made a life for Komugi, here. Would you take that away from her?”

Killua stopped generating afterimages and his lightning aura released. Neferpitou turned - he was slightly to their right again, his hands still in his pockets - and appraised him.

“You have no bloodlust, even though your aura is orders of magnitude greater than mine. You were able to intercept my attack, despite my speed; even Youpi couldn’t do that, back in the day.” Killua glared at them. “Why the hell aren’t you fighting back, idiot?”

“I don’t want to fight you,” Neferpitou said flatly, and Killua glared harder at them.

“Even if Komugi was--”

**_Terpsichora._ **

And then, Killua was against a tree, braced by one of Neferpitou’s hands in the air by his neck. Their grip was not tight enough to choke him - not yet, at least - but the tree began to _buckle_ and splinter under the force of Neferpitou pushing him against it. Terpsichora grinned maniacally above them, its strings holding them up in crimson light, and they glared _death_ at Killua. They drew their left hand back, and their claws sharpened and extended.

“Did you hurt Komugi?” They said, prepared to take Killua apart piece by piece, _slowly,_ depending on his answer.

“I didn’t… I just wanted to see your reaction,” Killua admitted calmly. He did not struggle or even appear angry, and his glare at Neferpitou was defiant.

He was, in that moment, unafraid of death - or of Neferpitou.

They regarded him carefully, and after a long, _long_ few moments, decided that he was not lying. Terpsichora was dispelled - and then Neferpitou began to walk away. Killua landed on his feet as they dropped him, but they didn’t care. They didn’t even care if he attacked them anymore, in that moment.

All that mattered was that Komugi was safe.

“You only showed bloodlust when I threatened Komugi,” Killua said from behind them, and Neferpitou stopped cold. “But your bloodlust just now was _overwhelming._ You care about her now, don’t you?”

Neferpitou slowly turned their head, regarding Killua with calm, faraway eyes. They had not fought in so long, but it was all instinct - and now, they were coming down from their adrenaline high. However, now they had the presence of mind to be _horrified_ by what had transpired, and Killua must’ve noticed how their hands trembled, and how Neferpitou probably looked like they were ready to throw up.

“I do,” Neferpitou said simply. Killua did not look much worse for wear at first, but Neferpitou focused and saw the bruises slowly forming on his collarbones and neck, underneath his tank top. “I hurt you… and I’m sorry.”

For the first time, Killua looked taken aback. But he fixed his face into something like neutrality, and the smallest smile.

“Dumbass,” he began, rolling his eyes, “I attacked you. But I think I’d… I’d like to meet with Komugi, if that’s okay? Pitou?”

The nickname. The nickname others used to use for Neferpitou, in their life long past. Neferpitou huffed air, not quite a laugh, and began to cry. Then, they smiled at Killua, seemingly surprising him. He had never seen them smile before, they knew, even if it was through tears.

“As long as you promise not to electrocute me anymore,” Neferpitou said in a flat tone, but they were absolutely making a joke.

To their satisfaction, Killua chuckled, and nodded as he began to follow.

~*~

The walk back to the car was long, and silent between the two of them.

Neferpitou listened to the nature around them, instead. They listened to the birds flying overhead, the tell-tale _pitter-patter_ of smaller animals through the forests, and the faraway sound of running water from the nearest stream. They could hear all of it, and they let the sound lull them into a calm again. Their _Ten_ smoothed around them, their aura rippling like a pinkish-red sheen of light and beauty, and they felt _at peace._

They were not afraid of Killua. Not because they were too prideful to be afraid of him - under the right circumstances, they were sure he could kill them - but because they made peace with Killua’s intent, and how he no longer meant to hurt them, at least for now. Neferpitou decided that they trusted Killua, because they recognized the _purity_ of his killing intent.

He could’ve gone right to Komugi, and leveraged her against them. He didn’t, and instead came to Neferpitou directly. He chose an uphill, almost impossible battle, because he was unafraid. Likewise, when Neferpitou told him the truth, he accepted it. So they resolved to keep telling him the truth… and to accept what he said as the truth, as well.

It took them half an hour, walking down winding hill paths and through the forest, to reach the nearest parking lot for the local campgrounds and hikers. Neferpitou’s car was there, and when they got close, they pulled out their clicker and tried to use it. It didn’t work however, and they stopped and squinted at it carefully.

“Oh… sorry, the lightning probably shorted it out,” Killua said sheepishly, and Neferpitou turned to him to find an amused, mischievous expression on his face.

They just sighed, and unlocked the driver’s side door manually. Then they hit the button to unlock the passenger’s side door, and sat down into the driver’s seat. They looked over and saw Killua hesitating by the passenger’s side door, and frowned at the sight.

Neferpitou put the key in the ignition and started the car. Then they rolled down the passenger window and looked at him intently as they clipped their seatbelt.

“You are free to walk to my home, if you prefer,” they said, their tone just a touch sarcastic. Killua’s response was to scowl at them.

“No! I just, uh… I feel weird, being in a tiny space with you, I don’t know. That sounds mean when I say it out loud…” Killua muttered, and then he aggressively threw open the door and plopped into the seat. He slammed the door a bit harder than was really necessary, and Neferpitou eyed him calmly as he put his seatbelt on without prompting.

“I don’t hold it against you, if you’re still afraid of me,” Neferpitou said, being entirely sincere.

“I am not afraid of you!” Killua exclaimed, pursing his lips after he did so. Neferpitou chuckled at him.

“You called me ‘the God of Death,’ Killua. I think you’re a little bit intimidated,” Neferpitou countered gently.

“Yeah, well, you’d be intimidated too if you were me,” Killua grumbled.

Neferpitou just smiled, as they adjusted their rearview mirror and prepared to back the car out of its spot.

“You’re right,” they said quietly. “I _would_ be intimidated, if I were you.”

Killua didn’t say anything right away, but his posture relaxed slightly in surprise. Neferpitou eyed him curiously as they pulled their beanie hat off and set it in the center console, and their ears immediately twitched in their freedom. Then they wiggled their nose slightly, working out an itch there, as they backed the car out and threw it into drive.

For the first few minutes, their ride was silent save for the radio playing quietly. Neferpitou generally had it set to modern pop music, because that was what Komugi liked to listen to. Killua made a small sound of disapproval when the radio began to play, and Neferpitou smiled slyly at him as they pulled down the narrow road that led to the exit of the park.

They made it to the exit sign for the park, when Killua spoke again.

“Can I _please_ change the station?” He said, and Neferpitou chuckled and nodded.

He immediately sprang forward and began fiddling with the radio. After a moment, he seemed to find the station he was looking for, and Neferpitou heard what sounded like classic rock coming through. They side-eyed Killua, their expression questioning, but he just shrugged and looked like something between smug and embarrassed.

“My sister likes to listen to that same stuff, and I let her run the radio because I love her. But I hate it, honestly,” Killua said by way of explanation, and Neferpitou hummed in acknowledgement.

They turned out onto the main road, gently tapping their left foot to the beat of the music. They had no particular opinion on or ear for music - they just listened to whatever Komugi liked - but this music wasn’t any worse than what they were used to. Neferpitou could feel Killua’s gaze on them as they drove, but they didn’t say anything at first. They could practically _feel_ him overflowing with the urge to say something, and slowly smirked as he seemed to get more and more annoyed.

Finally, at an intersection, he snapped.

“How are you so _normal?!”_ He cried out. Neferpitou blinked slowly and turned to look at him, only moderately confused by his question.

“I’m not very normal,” they admitted calmly. “I’m just good at pretending.”

Killua blinked in confusion, but Neferpitou just shrugged. The light turned green, and they began to drive forward with the traffic, but they could tell Killua wanted to say more.

“I _want_ to be mad at you,” he admitted in a quieter voice. “I _should_ be mad at you. But it’s hard when you’re so…”

He trailed off, seemingly unable to find the right word.

“Different?” Neferpitou suggested, and they saw Killua nod like a bobblehead from the corner of their eye. “It was a long process, but I did it for Komugi.”

“Do you… like how you are now?”

Neferpitou hummed neutrally, considering carefully. Did they like how they were now? They weren’t sure there was an easy or clean answer to that question.

“In some ways,” they settled on. “I like not having to fight, or kill people. I like working at the hospital, and healing people. I… don’t like having to hide, or living in fear all the time. I don’t like how sad I am all the time, or the guilt. But… I suppose that’s what I deserve, isn’t it?”

They turned to look carefully at him and saw an expression of awe on his face, for just a moment. Then he turned away, looking intensely and sadly at the glove box, and they turned their eyes back to the road. They wondered why he had any empathy for them at all, as non-human as they were. He had been ready to exterminate Chimera Ant kind not so long ago, and they didn’t blame him at all.

Then again, his _Hatsu_ was apparently transmuting his aura into _lightning,_ and Neferpitou was given to understand that humans had to spend a lot of time visualizing and experiencing their chosen conceptual _Hatsu_ before they could dare to attempt--

Neferpitou coughed in realization, and it seemed to startle Killua, as he made a vague questioning noise.

“Your _Hatsu,”_ Neferpitou said. “It’s lightning transmutation. You were electrocuted repeatedly, weren’t you? It’s the only way you could develop a lightning _Hatsu_ so young; you had it when we first met.”

It was not entirely a question, and they eyed Killua carefully as he looked rather mortified.

“You’re not the only one who did bad things and ran away from their past, Neferpitou,” Killua said softly, almost in challenge, and Neferpitou tilted their head at him for a moment, as they stopped at another intersection.

“I see,” Neferpitou said simply. “That is sad. I’m sorry you didn’t have someone to look out for you, Killua.”

He seemed rather surprised. Then, he smiled, and looked away. Neferpitou nodded once and turned back to look forwards, and the light changed once more. Killua didn’t seem interested in chatting more after that, and they were about twenty minutes away from Neferpitou’s home. That suited them just fine, as they thought through the practical issues with having Killua in their home.

They would have to introduce him properly to Komugi, of course. They would also make some food, and figure out what Killua liked to eat. Neferpitou realized, to their minor amusement, that they had slid effortlessly into the same mindset as when Komugi’s friends visited, and it was… comforting. There was a peculiar normalcy to it all, as if Killua hadn’t reintroduced himself to their life by outright attacking them.

Neferpitou didn’t mind, though. And when they turned to look at Killua, he was smiling, just a tiny bit, to himself, as he looked out the front window.

~*~

Neferpitou stepped into their home and set their keys on their hook, next to the door.

Killua walked past them after a moment and casually took his shoes off, stepping on the backs with his toes in turn. Neferpitou appraised him for a moment. He was… slightly taller, than they remembered, maybe about 170cm, and he was slightly broader, as well. He was fairly lithe still, however, and today he had chosen to wear a black tank-top and gray basketball shorts.

He seemed to feel their eyes on him, and he tilted his head back to look at them, with his weight mostly on one foot and his hands in his pockets.

“Nobody home?” Killua asked, and Neferpitou leaned past him to call out.

“Komugi? Have you returned home yet?”

There was no response. Neferpitou pulled out their phone and saw that it, too, had been fried by Killua’s _Hatsu._ They frowned and showed him the phone, and then they glared at him when he snickered at the sight. To their minor indignation, Killua just stuck his tongue out at them.

Neferpitou rolled their eyes and walked further into their home, already moving towards the kitchen. They tossed their phone into the trash, as they went. However, they made it about three steps, when someone knocked on their front door. Then they turned around, looking with great confusion and concern at Killua.

“Friends of yours?” Neferpitou asked cautiously, as they made their way back towards the door.

“Yeah, that’s probably Canary and Amane, I texted them on the way over,” Killua said matter-of-factly, and Neferpitou hummed neutrally as they opened their front door.

They were met with a pair of young women, and Neferpitou regarded them carefully. Neither of them seemed to have an appreciable aura, though Neferpitou suspected they may have been in _Zetsu,_ since they didn’t sense them approaching before. They were both wearing suits, identical to one another: black coats and pants, black heels, and white dress shirts, with a small green jewel around a kind of bow tie. One of them was lighter-skinned, taller with long black hair, and the other was dark-skinned, shorter with dark hair done in tied bunches.

“Hello, Neferpitou,” the shorter one said. “My name is Canary.”

“And I’m Amane. We’re Killua’s butlers.”

Neferpitou slowly squinted, first at Canary, then at Amane. Canary was holding some kind of stick or staff - a weapon, Neferpitou presumed - and after they introduced themselves, Neferpitou felt them release their _Zetsu_ and switch to _Ten._ Their auras were… strong, by human standards, but weaker than Killua’s individually.

Then another person came zooming in between Canary and Amane, right past Neferpitou and towards Killua with a _woosh._

“Brother! I’m so excited, who is our new friend?!” The girl said, and Neferpitou turned their head to look at her with a bemused expression. She ran right up to Killua and attacked him in a hug around his neck; Killua just laughed and hugged her back, before setting her down gently.

“Alluka, this is Pitou. They’re a, uh… well, they’re different,” Killua said cautiously. Alluka just smiled and walked back over to Neferpitou, who turned fully to appraise Alluka.

She had thick, long black hair, and seemed to be dressed like a shrine maiden. Neferpitou found that curious, as Alluka reached them and looked up with a happy smile. Alluka was very pretty, however, and Neferpitou smiled as they held out their hand.

“Hello, Alluka. My name is Neferpitou, and I am a Chimera Ant. You may call me Pitou. It’s nice to meet you.”

There was a palpable silence as Alluka looked at Neferpitou for a moment, clearly processing their words. Then she reached out with both hands and shook Neferpitou’s hand, smiling. After another moment, Neferpitou was taken slightly aback when Alluka’s face abruptly shifted into a strange, black-eyed, almost empty expression, even as she continued to hold on to their hand.

“Hi, Pitou. I’m Nanika.” 

Her - Nanika’s? - voice was flat and distant, and Neferpitou tilted their head in curiosity. Then, as quickly as it happened, it stopped, and Nanika’s face became Alluka’s face again.

“I… am happy to meet you both…?” Neferpitou said hesitantly, as Alluka smiled at them. They looked up and Killua nodded, and they inferred that he would explain later.

“May we come in?” Canary asked from behind Neferpitou, and they jumped a bit. Then they turned quickly and nodded, and Canary stepped in first, followed by Amane.

They were kind enough to shut the door behind them, even as Neferpitou strode forward again towards their kitchen. Their mind was already three steps ahead, thinking about what to make for dinner - both for their guests, and for Komugi, when she returned home.

“You may sit at my dining room table,” Neferpitou said absently, as they reached their kitchen around the corner. They began to rifle through their cabinets, but they saw Alluka sit down happily at the table, through the doorway. “Do you have any preferences for food?”

“Brother says I need to eat more fruits and vegetables!” Alluka declared from her seat, and she threw her hands up in the air in excitement for good measure. Neferpitou saw Amane and Canary calmly take standing positions on either side of Alluka.

“We do not need any food, but we appreciate your offer of hospitality,” Amane said in a rather formal tone, and she did a little half-bow. Neferpitou raised an eyebrow, but then nodded; they would make extra anyway, just in case the two changed their minds.

Killua walked in and leaned his back against the front of the sink. Neferpitou got what they wanted out of the cabinet and saw that Amane was talking to Alluka in a hushed tone at the table, and although Neferpitou could hear them, they chose to tune it out. It sounded like Amane was mostly keeping Alluka occupied on behalf of Killua.

“You don’t have to cook for me,” Killua said in a quiet voice. Neferpitou had gotten a cutting board out, and was about to start cutting some potatoes and other vegetables.

“I would like to cook for you,” Neferpitou said simply. Killua gave them a funny look, when they half-turned to look at him. 

They were standing next to him now, working at one of the open spaces on the countertop. They turned back to their cutting board and began peeling and cutting, heedless of Killua’s seeming discontent. Neferpitou wasn’t sure exactly what was going through his head at that moment, of course, but they were happy to let him work through it, and speak when he was ready.

“I came expecting you to be a monster,” Killua admitted calmly. They turned their head to look at him with their lips in a thin line.

“I _was_ a monster,” Neferpitou said flatly. “But… things change. I understand, if you don’t think I should… be _allowed_ to change. But things change, all the same.”

Killua looked away, seemingly perturbed by their words. They returned to their task. For a long time, he didn’t say anything, and Neferpitou wondered if he just wanted to be close to them to stay between them and Alluka. The thought made them smile; Killua seemed like a good brother, and they were happy for that.

“I didn’t tell the Hunter Association, yet,” Killua said quietly. Neferpitou stopped cutting and looked carefully at Killua. “I told Leorio that I would go to see for myself, and if he didn’t hear back from me for a week, he should send all of the Zodiacs to kill you.”

Neferpitou took a sharp breath, unsure if they should be upset, afraid, or grateful.

“And… what will you tell this ‘Leorio,’ now?” Neferpitou asked cautiously, thinking already about the logistics of taking Komugi - uprooting her entire life, breaking her heart, and shattering everything - and running, to stay safe.

“I’m going to tell him… that you weren’t here, when I got here,” Killua said. He had been looking vaguely at the floor, past Neferpitou, but he turned to them then and smiled slightly.

He looked relieved, but still somewhat conflicted.

Neferpitou wondered, in that moment, where Gon was. They recalled that the two seemed close - very close - with a bond that Neferpitou had respected, in the moment. They were moderately surprised to see Killua alone, in retrospect, though they hadn’t stopped to consider it until now.

Now that they felt they were safe.

But, Neferpitou decided to shelve that idea for now. That seemed like something they should ask Killua when they were really in private.

~*~

Komugi came home about an hour later.

In that time, Neferpitou finished cooking, changed clothes, and gathered some things that fascinated them. Alluka seemed to have a boundless appetite - more so than a girl who appeared to be roughly fourteen ought to have had - and they wondered if that had to do with Nanika. Killua, on the other hand, barely touched his food, though he insisted it tasted good; he just seemed to be lost in his own head, staring aimlessly at his fork as he swirled it around the mashed potatoes.

Canary and Amane eventually caved and accepted food, once Killua told them to quit being so formal. The two of them cheerfully informed Neferpitou that their cooking was good, though they had a lingering suspicion the two may have been humoring them. Regardless, they ate a full helping, and were smiling when they finished.

“Jenny? I’m home!” Komugi called when she unlocked the door and entered. Neferpitou was sitting at the dining room table still, along with Killua.

Amane and Canary were sitting on the couch, with Alluka between them, watching television quietly. Everyone turned and perked up when Komugi entered, Brave in toe. She took her shoes off and then padded through the short entry hallway, and stopped at the entrance to the living room-dining room area.

Neferpitou cleared their throat in a pointed fashion.

“Komugi,” they said, and Komugi frowned. “We have guests.”

She tilted her head at them and looked _very_ confused and _very_ concerned.

“Is that… bad?” Komugi asked, as Brave sat down obediently by her feet. Komugi leaned over to remove Brave’s guide dog vest, as she waited for a response.

“That’s an open question,” Neferpitou said, slightly teasing. Killua pouted at them. “Komugi, this is Killua Zoldyck. He is… one of the people who was there, the night that we… ran away.”

Komugi gasped and straightened. She slowly looked around, trying to pinpoint what direction Killua was sitting in. She probably wouldn’t have any luck, though, Neferpitou suspected; they had learned that Killua was _very_ quiet, as they had chatted while they ate and waited. If he wasn’t speaking, he was basically silent unless he wanted to be otherwise, when he was sitting still.

“Hi, Komugi. It’s nice to--”

“It’s _you!”_ Komugi said, her tone surprisingly sharp. “You’re the one who tried to kidnap me!”

Neferpitou turned to Killua in confusion. He, in turn, sputtered and flailed his hands defensively, clearly baffled and incensed.

“I did no such thing! Pouf was trying to kill you! I did accidentally knock you out when Pouf attacked us, though…”

“I suppose that explains the bruise she had on her chin for the next week,” Neferpitou mused, and Komugi giggled, catching their teasing tone. Killua turned a bit red and grumbled incoherently as he crossed his arms.

“Anyway, with him are Canary and Amane, his… butlers?” Neferpitou continued, and Canary and Amane nodded from the couch. “And Alluka Zoldyck, his younger sister--”

 _“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you!”_ Alluka announced, and Neferpitou was startled to realize she had already stood up from the couch and ran over to Komugi. To their relief, Alluka stopped short of crashing into Komugi; the latter smiled awkwardly and nodded as Alluka appraised her.

“Hi, Alluka. Welcome to our home. My sister works really hard to make it nice,” Komugi said. Alluka looked closely at the older girl, seemingly trying to figure out why she had her eyes closed.

Then, it seemed to click, and Neferpitou leaned over slightly to see that Alluka was beaming at Komugi, and looked quite pleased. They turned back to Killua and he had a rather strange expression on his face. They wouldn’t characterize it as perturbed, but more so… quietly shocked. He noticed them looking, and quickly shifted back to neutrality as he looked away.

Neferpitou helped Komugi get situated at the dining room table, along with Alluka and Killua. Then, for a long time, they just… chatted. Mostly beating around the elephant in the room - nobody seemed to be in a hurry to bring up the day of the Dragon Dive and palace assault - and instead focusing on small things.

Neferpitou learned that Alluka had not had much formal education herself, because her parents were not very nice. Alluka’s description of the situation was fairly subdued, but Neferpitou felt bloodlust come from Killua - for a fraction of a second, before it was gone again - when the pair’s parents were brought up. They wondered about that, but he didn’t seem like he was in a hurry to discuss that, either.

Neferpitou heated up food for Komugi on the stove, as she shared stories of homeschooling, traveling, and adjusting to normal life with Alluka. Komugi poked fun at Neferpitou’s journey to learn cooking, and they threatened not to give her food in jest. The look of wounded horror on her face as she whined in dejection was priceless.

Killua discussed, in vague terms, that the four of them had mostly been traveling aimlessly the past few years. Amane and Canary helped Killua settle down and begin formally educating Alluka, and she was on track to be able to go to formal school the following fall. However, Alluka had to travel with Killua at all times if he traveled, because of Nanika - and because of someone else.

 _“Illumi,”_ Killua said, with the type of tone that one would use to describe finding milk gone bad in the fridge. “He’s always following us, looking for an opportunity to mess with Alluka and I.”

“Is he… following you now?” Neferpitou asked hesitatingly, as they idly sipped on a glass of water.

“Probably. He usually stays within about a kilometer or two. Sometimes he’ll back off for a while - usually to take jobs - and try to make us think he’s left. It’s annoying,” Killua said firmly. Neferpitou inferred that by ‘annoying’ he meant ‘deeply, existentially frustrating,’ by the way his bloodlust briefly seeped out at the end.

Neferpitou didn’t immediately reply verbally, but they instead chose to send their _En_ out as far as it would go. They had not ever done that from their home, out of caution, but they figured if there was a time for it, it would be now. They watched absolute _stunned awe_ cross the face of Killua, Canary, and Amane all at once, but they were focused on looking.

At first, there was nothing. There didn’t seem to be anybody with meaningful _Nen_ outside of their home--

No, there was someone. Someone _powerful_ \- more powerful than Killua, and on the high end for a human, as far as Neferpitou knew - and they were… relatively close. Maybe a kilometer and a half away, and they seemed to feel Neferpitou’s _En_ touch them. For a brief moment, Neferpitou felt overwhelming bloodlust - perhaps in frustration, from being seen by a _Nen_ user? - and then it was gone, and the _Nen_ aura disappeared as well.

Whoever it was, they were quick on the draw switching to _Zetsu._ Neferpitou switched back to _Ten_ and refocused on the table, only to find Killua looking expectantly at them.

“Well… either you have a _different,_ very powerful human _Nen_ user following you… or your brother was just within two kilometers,” Neferpitou said, and Killua groaned in frustration and ran his right hand through his hair.

“Damn him,” Killua muttered, but then he was surprised when Alluka reached over and placed her hand gently on his hand.

“It’s okay, Brother. I’m sure you’ll protect me, like you always have.”

The look of pure love and affection that crossed Killua’s face made Neferpitou smile, even as they finished their glass of water.

“So, Killua,” Neferpitou began slyly, once Alluka and Killua had finished their moment. “Have you ever played Gungi before?”

They turned and saw the look of understanding pass over Komugi’s expression, followed closely by an impish grin. She knew _exactly_ what they were doing, and was completely willing to be in on the joke. Killua, meanwhile, looked rather confused, and he brought his left hand up to scratch his temple.

“No… I’ve heard of it, though,” he said, clearly expecting an explanation.

“Ah. Well, are you a competitive person?” Neferpitou asked, and Killua gave an almost cat-like, excited smile as he nodded quickly. “Well, I’m rather good at Gungi, personally, and I’d be happy to play with you. But first, I’m sure Komugi would love to teach you the basics. She _really_ loves the game, and it would be a good warm up.”

“Oh, certainly! That sounds fun,” Komugi added in an innocent and sweet voice that only Neferpitou knew was an act.

“Alright, Pitou. I’ll learn Gungi from Komugi and then I’ll kick your ass for real,” Killua said, as he smacked his right fist into his left hand. Neferpitou and Komugi giggled, and Neferpitou had to put their hand over their mouth to contain themselves.

“I’m sure you will. Just to be safe, you can’t play with me until you’ve beaten Komugi. It wouldn’t be fair, otherwise.”

Komugi looked like she was on the edge of completely losing it, and so was Neferpitou. Killua, however, didn’t notice, clearly too caught in the idea of being able to defeat Neferpitou at something other than combat. He was so caught up in his competitive spirit, he didn’t consider that a timid blind girl was the real threat to his pride.

He didn’t figure it out until he’d lost twelve games in a row, and he finally noticed Komugi had stopped using _Zetsu._ Then, he chased Neferpitou around the house, as they cackled without a hint of remorse at his expense.

~*~

June 29th was a Sunday.

That meant that Komugi went to school the next morning, which Neferpitou happily drove her to. Komugi smiled and said her goodbyes, and then Neferpitou sighed in the driver’s seat. Their plan for the day was likely going to be… long, and they mentally prepared themselves as they left the school and drove towards the hotel that Killua was staying at.

Neferpitou’s four guests had stayed until about eight in the evening. After Gungi and chatting and some more snacks, Alluka and Komugi had fallen asleep on the couch, watching movies together and talking about whatever they felt like talking about. They just got to be _normal_ together, two young teenage girls, and Neferpitou was proud to see that Komugi was completely comfortable with new people now.

Killua had gently picked Alluka up in a piggyback ride to bring her out to the vehicle that he had rented. Before he left, however, he requested to meet with Neferpitou on Monday to talk more - alone - and they had agreed.

That was how they ended up driving to his hotel and waiting calmly in the lobby for him to come down. To their surprise, he came down alone, wearing a dark gray t-shirt and dark blue basketball shorts, and with the slightest bedhead.

“It’s not _that_ early,” Neferpitou said teasingly as he approached.

“Jet lag…” Killua mumbled defensively, and Neferpitou chuckled at him as they led the way back to the car.

He explained, as they drove back to the same park they had met the day before, that it was safe for Canary and Amane to watch Alluka on their own for now. Illumi hadn’t directly approached them in years, and he seemed to have retreated temporarily on feeling Neferpitou’s _En._ They checked again for good measure, and if he was within two kilometers, he was hiding _very_ well.

They didn’t plan to be gone for too long - Neferpitou wanted to be home when Komugi got home - so Killua felt that things would be fine for now.

As they drove, a question occurred to Neferpitou. They turned to get Killua’s attention, at a stoplight. He had been staring aimlessly out the passenger side window, with his chin on his hand.

“What was your plan, if you had confronted me and I was hostile? What if… weren’t you afraid of death?” They asked.

Killua chuckled, though it was not a particularly amused or mirthful laugh.

“You might be the God of Death, Pitou, but you’re not the only one with power in this world,” he replied cryptically.

Neferpitou raised an eyebrow and thought about Nanika. Neither Killua or Alluka had brought up Nanika again, and Neferpitou had declined to ask. They hadn’t felt any meaningful aura coming from Alluka, though, so whatever Nanika was, she seemed to not be a _Hatsu._ Neferpitou wondered about that… and they wondered if they had met something even greater than themselves.

They did not pursue that line of questioning, and the rest of the car ride was very quiet, except for the radio playing Killua’s classic rock.

~*~

“It’s very peaceful here,” Killua said, as he stepped on to Neferpitou’s rock and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Neferpitou smiled at him, as he looked around the valley.

“I first came here to practice with my _Nen,_ and formal fighting styles. No one really bothers to come out this far, since it’s a steep hike for normal people,” they replied simply. Killua turned to them in curiosity.

Today, Neferpitou had a gray, thin long sleeve shirt and some black sweatpants, along with their sneakers. It was a lighter outfit than was typical for them, and they calmly set their water bottle and beanie hat on the rock. Killua looked confused at them when they produced a second water bottle and set it down next to the first.

“You forgot,” they said simply, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Thanks…” Killua said cautiously. Neferpitou just smiled and nodded, and turned away to look at the rest of the valley.

There was a long silence between them, and Neferpitou closed their eyes and inhaled the scents around them. The grass, the water, the pine and leaves of the trees, the animals in the distance, wary of the predators in their midst. They felt Killua’s aura, sharp and smooth around him in _Ten._ They heard him breathing, ever-so-slightly; if they were human, he’d be silent.

They turned to him, and he had a strange expression on his face.

“I want to spar with you,” he said, seemingly catching their gaze from the corner of his eye. Neferpitou tilted their head in curiosity.

“That seems unwise. I… am not very well-practiced with fighting humans and holding back,” they admitted. Killua scoffed, to their surprise, and turned to them with a slight pout.

“Then don’t hold back,” he said defiantly, and that concerned Neferpitou. He flew at them then, going for a punch, his fist shrouded in aura.

Neferpitou already had their hand up to block - without his _Hatsu,_ they were _far_ faster than him - but then he feinted and brought his leg up to kick them in the side. He wasn’t strong enough to hurt or move them, but a clean hit was a clean hit. Neferpitou darted backward and crouched slightly, while Killua wiped his mouth off.

“Do you want to know what happened, that night?” He asked solemnly, and Neferpitou’s ears perked up. They nodded quickly; they wanted nothing more than to know the truth--

“Then spar with me, and show me your best, and I’ll tell you as we do,” Killua said insistently, and Neferpitou frowned.

Then they _disappeared,_ and Killua’s blue lightning flared around him as docked a blindingly quick chop from Neferpitou. They weren’t trying to use _Ken_ or _Ko_ to hit with real force; they figured it would be safer that way, to let him block with _Nen._ Killua darted away, ozone burning in the air, and then released his _Hatsu_ and growled at them.

“When the King fought Netero, he won,” Killua began, even as he flew forward again, his nails hardening like blades as he swiped at Neferpitou.

And so, they learned. They learned how the King had defeated Netero; Killua only knew that because Netero had a bomb implanted in his body, that would go off if his heart stopped. The bomb, a ‘Miniature Rose,’ was lethal, with contaminant radiation that was contagious. A dirty bomb, a product of human engineering and design, had felled Neferpitou’s King - _not_ the most powerful human _Nen_ user on the planet.

A quick jab from Killua, even as he ducked Neferpitou’s counter. He was quick, but they were holding back. He seemed to know it, and they watched his expression spoil in slow motion as he palm-struck them in the chest. It didn’t hurt, and he grunted in frustration.

“The King’s name was Meruem,” Killua said, and Neferpitou was stunned. Then he hit them with his _Hatsu,_ and they were so unprepared that it sent them flying backwards into a tree.

The King’s name was Meruem, a name given by mother, the Queen. They learned the name from the Queen on her deathbed, and the King embraced the name at the end. He had encountered and knocked out Ikalgo and Palm - the two Ant soldiers Neferpitou met and took Komugi from - but before he did, he told them his name. 

He also ran into Welfin, a squadron leader, who inadvertently reminded him of Komugi. King Meruem made the decision to sit alone, cross-legged, in the courtyard of his ruined castle, and die in peace. With his contagious state, he would have killed many people searching for Komugi - and he made the conscious decision _not_ to do that, something that had baffled the Hunter Association when they arrived after the fact.

Killua admitted that now that he had met Neferpitou again, he sort of understood. They told him more about Komugi and the King's relationship, and he seemed to be in awe, even as he tried to kick their knee out from under them. They spun away from the attack, but Killua stayed out of reach of their counter.

“When he knocked Palm out, we lost the ability to track you via her _Hatsu,”_ Killua said, as he went for a low, sweeping attack. Neferpitou rolled over the attack and caught him with their forearm, sending him flying in turn.

He landed on two feet, his expression even, but strained. He didn’t look pleased.

The Hunter Association had tracked Neferpitou and Komugi in their time in the Republic of Hass, through a combination of eyewitness testimony, surveillance cameras, and the weedy printer man reporting on them. They had almost caught them, at the end - if Neferpitou hadn’t been so quick on the draw at the hotel, they would’ve been met by a Hunter kill team led by someone named ‘Morel’ - but in the end, they slipped away.

And once they did, they were lost in the wind. The Hunter Association had no clue where they were, and had written Komugi off as dead.

“They assumed you had killed her. I staked out your house for a few days beforehand, though, and I saw that Komugi was with you,” Killua explained as he tried to high-kick Neferpitou in the chin. “I saw that she was still with you, and that’s… I knew, in some way, that our meeting wouldn’t go the way I _wanted_ it to go.”

Killua _wanted_ them to still be a monster, Neferpitou realized intuitively. He wanted things to be simple, even as they blocked a sideways punch and twisted his arm around. He twirled out of the grip, slippery and light on his feet, and danced away. He wanted to be able to finish what he had started, three years ago, because, they assumed, he felt some kind of personal failure in it.

“Killua,” Neferpitou said, but Killua did not stop coming. They intercepted his attack deftly, _Nen_ coating their body offensively, and drove him to the ground on his back. He seemed surprised; they hadn’t been that aggressive yet. “Why have you been so accepting of me?”

They had him on the ground, their palm flat on his chest. He had both hands on their arm, and a shocked expression on his face. But then, they registered that he wasn’t just _shocked_ \- he was _terrified_ \- and so they released him and calmly stepped back.

Then, _they_ were surprised, when he began to cry.

“This was supposed to be simple,” he said quietly. “You were supposed to be… to be the same monster that broke Gon’s heart. And I was supposed to kill you, and show him that… that I’m not a bad friend, and that he needed me back then, too.”

Killua jumped to his feet, tears still in his eyes, and activated his _Hatsu._ Neferpitou was surprised, but then he came at them like a sapphire blur. They put their arms up, and lightning met their aura with the impact of a car. Killua drove his fist into their arms, electricity intensifying around him and burning the air, but Neferpitou held fast.

They weren’t sure he was seeing them, anymore. They weren’t sure he was still _here,_ anymore.

 **“Gon was going to give** **_everything_ ** **to kill you!”** Killua screamed, pushing against their aura. **“And you just… walked away, and told me to help him. And he still tried to… tried to make that covenant, and** **_I had to stop him!_ ** **You walked away, and I had to pick up the pieces!”**

**“Why didn’t you** **_care?!”_ **

Killua’s _Hatsu_ died, and he stopped applying pressure to his right hand. Slowly, it moved a few centimeters away from Neferpitou’s arms. They looked around their arms and saw that he was still crying, sobbing now, and looked like he was falling apart.

They dropped their arms and Killua flinched.

“I… I didn’t understand, what effect my actions would have, Killua, I’m… I’m sorry…”

 **“Sorry isn’t good enough!”** Killua screamed, and he fell to his knees right in front of them.

Neferpitou slowly lowered themselves to their knees, as well, and watched Killua carefully. They had seen when Komugi fell apart, broke down, and couldn’t go any further. They had held her as she sobbed and cried, and tried to deal with how overwhelming the past was. But they had never been the source of the problem, the one that hurt her so.

“I know it isn’t,” Neferpitou said quietly. Killua was looking down at the ground, his face shadowed by his hair. “I… I wanted to die, after I realized what I did. Only Komugi kept me going.”

He snapped his gaze up to them, surprise and anger and sorrow on his face. He reached out and punched half-heartedly into their chest, and it did nothing. He did it again, and again, seemingly more for his benefit than anything. They just let him - let him cry it out, and let him mime the action of hurting them.

It seemed only fair.

“I’m still… still weak,” Killua mumbled dejectedly, as he dropped his hands to his lap. “I was too weak to protect Gon, and he… he knew it. He pushed me away, _because I was weak!”_

He looked back up to Neferpitou, his eyes wet and pleading, and their heart broke for him. Gently, slowly, and calmly, they reached their arms out and wrapped him up into a hug. He gasped and squirmed, but then, he melted, and sobbed.

And Neferpitou cried too, for what they had caused.

“You’re not weak,” Neferpitou whispered through tears, as they rubbed Killua’s back. They brought their other hand up to cradle the back of his head. “You’re so _young,_ and you’re still here protecting your sister and giving her the life she deserved, instead of the life her parents tried to impose on her. How can you be weak?”

Killua just sobbed harder, and finally hugged Neferpitou back. They wondered if he had _ever_ had a responsible, kind adult in his life.

They wondered if they counted as a responsible, kind adult.

For a long time, they just… sat, and cried, and hugged. Neferpitou didn’t have a watch, but they did look up and see through blurry eyes that the sun had moved slightly in the sky by the time Killua’s sobs drew down to gentle crying. Eventually, he pulled away, and still looked completely miserable - but also, like he was seeing Neferpitou for the first time, and wasn’t sure what to make of them at all.

They reached out with their right hand and gently brushed the tears off of his cheek, and he leaned into the touch.

“When I saw you and Gon at the palace,” Neferpitou began quietly, “I thought to myself, ‘their bond is like my bond with the King. Their love is that great.’ Gon _loved you,_ Killua. I imagine you love Gon too, don’t you?” Killua turned a bit pink in the cheeks, and Neferpitou couldn’t resist the urge to smile through tears. “I don’t know what happened to you, with your parents, and with Gon, and with… me, and how you got there.”

They chuckled wetly and pressed their forehead to Killua’s, closing their eyes as they continued. 

“I’m sorry that back then, I didn’t care enough to learn. I wish I could have protected you and Gon, like I protected the King. You would have deserved that.”

Killua laughed hysterically, and they accepted that. He was probably confused, and conflicted, and he was only sixteen, he’d told them the night before. He was _too young_ to be expected to deal with things like this. He was _too young_ to be expected to sort out the ethics of what should be happening to Neferpitou, to be an adult already for Alluka, or to be standing up to his cruel family.

But he did it all, because he, too, lived for promises. In that respect, Neferpitou felt a kinship with him that ran down to their base molecules.

“I think… I’m gonna have some water,” Killua said, and Neferpitou opened their eyes to find big blue orbs staring right back at them. They smiled and pulled away, and then nodded.

Neferpitou stood up first, and offered a hand to help Killua up. He looked cautiously at their hand - and then he accepted it, his lips pursed as he did so. Once he was on two feet, he padded heavily over to the rock and sat down on it. He chose one of the plastic water bottles at random, uncapped it, and began to guzzle it, clearly not caring if he spilled.

Neferpitou walked over slowly and sat down next to him, stopping only to pick up the other water bottle. They sipped calmly from it, waiting for Killua to be ready to speak again. They weren’t that tired, and while they felt emotionally exhausted… they just were numb. They had been carrying such guilt and sorrow for so long that they didn’t know what else _to_ feel, anymore.

The guilt and sorrow from Killua was just more tinder to add to the fire, Neferpitou considered as they drank.

Quickly, Killua ran out of water, and he still looked tired. Neferpitou offered him their water, and he took it with a bemused expression and absent chuckle. Then, he finished that too, and they wondered if he was still thirsty.

It was tiring to cry.

“I wanna tell you a story,” Killua said abruptly, and Neferpitou’s ears flicked as they turned to look at him with curiosity. “It starts like this: I ran away from home when I was twelve, and all I had was a backpack full of junk, some cash, and a skateboard. And I took the Hunter Exam, like that.”

Neferpitou smiled, and listened as he told his story. The story of how he met Gon, and Kurapika, and Leorio, and how they became Hunters together. The story of how Gon changed Killua’s life, and how he was afraid he could never find the right words to express the truth of that. The story of how together, they changed the world - and arguably, saved it, by defeating King Meruem.

The story of how Killua became Killua, the person he wanted to be, and not Killua, the killer his parents wanted him to be.

Neferpitou listened, and considered, and sometimes, asked questions. It was nearly time for school to be over, by the time that they left, but they didn’t regret it. Neferpitou felt like they had learned something truly precious, by the end, and like they understood Killua in a way they never could have before.

They felt like they had made a new friend, and they cherished that feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun with this chapter, and writing about different elements of Killua's character that I think are important. I personally love the whimsical, silly side of Killua, because it's this snapshot of the kid he could have been - and what his family took away, when they made him into something else, instead.
> 
> Writing action for Killua and Neferpitou is sort of difficult, because they're so *fast,* but I hope this was all comprehensible. Next chapter, Gon will be arriving, so that we can finally see the three of them all together.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
